[Complete] A Break with Xotchi (Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the Domme)

[Frogapus]

Because NO ONE demanded it! Here's your chance to get femdommed by a muppet!

Sub-Madam Xotchi Tzall, (who you might remember as the adorable Tlako's bitchy boss) needs to blow off some steam BDSM-style and you can help her out.

Scenes build in intensity (4 stages of progression) with the player able to opt-out before each one.
Fetishes covered:

• Electricity play
• Floggers
• Bondage
• Restraints
• Pain! Lots of Pain!
• Mild mind-break
• Mild verbal humiliation
• Aftercare scenes
• Lovecraft references
• inexplicable Led Zeppelin references
• A special Tlako guest appearance
• A Surprisingly Sappy Good End

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-WqLazvP5vYAdmadJI7sxBb5le9xr2OFUFUl8Iibp9I/edit?usp=sharing

(I'm shit at tags. I'm still editing them, but if folks feel like contributing there, I definitely welcome the help. Xotchi frowns on my poor pseudo-code skills.)

Xotchi Tzall by Adjatha

 

[null_blank]

Mild mind-break

 

[Alyeska]

ohh nice, and yes, really both the birdies need a bit more love.

 

[Lunaraia]

this is nice, so nice I wish there were more XD

 

[Frogapus]

this is nice, so nice I wish there were more XD

35 pages of femdom and you still want more? XD Looks like Steele isn't the only painslut around here. ;-)

 

[Alyeska]

For me, I just wanna see more love for our fine feathered friends.

 

[Lunaraia]

well it's so well written it feels wrong to just end it there when there could be follow-up scenes and even a "Good" end in there

 

[Frogapus]

well it's so well written it feels wrong to just end it there when there could be follow-up scenes and even a "Good" end in there

That's a really cool idea! I didn't think it was intense enough to warrant a full-on ending, but it would definitely be doable given that Xotchi is well-off. It could even finish her "arc" and let her take control of the satellite through taking on Steele as a partner.

Anyone else want to add thoughts on this?

 

[Princess Bug]

It might be better to add more interaction with Xotchi outside of the escalating smut scene, maybe unlocked at each tier you progress through or something? To really sell their relationship becoming something meaningful to both, etc. But a classic 'do that last intense scene too many times' end seems like a good idea to try for!

 

[Lunaraia]

Princess Bug has a point, you already experience light mind break from going through stage 4 for the first time and I can't really believe that Xotchi would just stop taking it at least that far with Steele when she has already ingrained herself as Mistress into Steel's brain and with Steel willingly going so far before, and thats BEFORE being broken at all, besides Xotchi seemed strangely elated at the prospect of having "Broken" Steele

 

[Frogapus]

I'm torn! Having a good-bad end for this does sound appealing, but I'm unsure about the logistics of it.

Would it just be something like "If the PC has unlocked Stage 4, open up an END option from the main encounter menu with her"?

If I did do that, does anyone have any input for what becoming her permanent painslut would entail?
I'm thinking collaring, maybe tattooing/branding, definitely public humiliation. Thoughts?

 

[Thebiologist]

I'm torn! Having a good-bad end for this does sound appealing, but I'm unsure about the logistics of it.

Would it just be something like "If the PC has unlocked Stage 4, open up an END option from the main encounter menu with her"?

If I did do that, does anyone have any input for what becoming her permanent painslut would entail?
I'm thinking collaring, maybe tattooing/branding, definitely public humiliation. Thoughts?

considering how Toves are portrayed, a servitude contract and handling over sentient rights would make sense.

 

[null_blank]

If I did do that, does anyone have any input for what becoming her permanent painslut would entail?
I'm thinking collaring, maybe tattooing/branding, definitely public humiliation. Thoughts?

Not only should a full-on contract be drafted and signed, but make Steele read the contract out loud before signing it?

It's too easy to just sign the dotted line. Reminding someone word for word that they're about to willingly sign away sentient rights is something else.

I dunno...just don't lock Steele into a bad end so I have to avoid her from now on

 

[Lunaraia]

The bad end could be a "Choice" basically like Jerynn is right now, where the character basically signs away their rights, or if the character has a redonk low willpower and/or Intelligence they just cave under the pressure of Mistress, wishing to please her more than is good for them, could also make Steele lose some willpower/intelligence if they go through the entire breaking process (temp or permanent I am not sure of yet) as she is literally breaking Steeles mind that way, at least on some level

 

[Frogapus]

Okay, working on a good-bad end right now. Just fishing for input, but do you think it needs its own unique sex scene, or just more of a "what happens to a permanent submissive of Xotchi Tzall?"

My (perhaps unwarranted) concern is that I want to depict a safe BDSM relationship with her, and I don't want sex interfering with informed consent for such a major decision.

 

[Lunaraia]

celebratory run through the "mind breaker" after the signing could be a thing I suppose, preferably with it's own scene seeing as this is the first time she "Owns" Steele in the literal sense of the word and might be a bit more... "frisky" with her own property than someone with actual rights and opinions that matter. Not that Steele would complain at that point seeing as their Mistress' wish is Steele's greatest goal at that point.

 

[Frogapus]

Okay, so I might have gone a little crazy.

I should probably still add in some unique sexings for accepting a bad end.

For the time being, there are just five pages of the good-bad end. It includes a showdown with the rival, lots of dialogue, and a metric fuckton of lovey-dovey happily-ever-after-ness. I honestly blame Stjepan Sejic (Sunstone) for my decision to write this BDSM relationship as happily-ever-after. He is a terrible influence.

It's all there in the original doc, highlighted in pink. It's very near the top, or you can use the table of contents to get to it. Please let me know what you all think. Does it need sexy times? Is it too long? Does it work at all?

 

[Lunaraia]

I commented on some missed gender tags in the text, aside from that it's pretty nice, though I would request a few follow-up sessions that break Steele just a bit further before you can just can ask for permanent, as it was pretty damn well written too and would like to see at least one follow-up scene, the ending itself were nice and well written

 

[Juicyjuice]

I'm a sucker for the romantic Domme stuff, so the ending was really sweet. I do think that another sex scene either right after signing the contract or some time after it would help round things out, but I'm fine if it's not possible. Good work for making me like being "femdommed by a muppet."

 

[null_blank]

Wait, you're doing a good end AND a bad end?

 

[Juicyjuice]

Wait, you're doing a good end AND a bad end?

The ending is both, although it's easily more good than bad, story-wise. The only "bad" thing is that it ends your game.

 

[Chaotic Neutral Taco]

In regards to the Madam furthering her goals, like the good end would have, you could make the relationship rather de-stressing for her. Less stress means she can work better and harder, which gets her a promotion. As well as the whole Steele fortune thing, of course. Maybe she could merge the companies?

 

[Frogapus]

Okay, it should be all set now! Finally, finally done. There's a whole new section near the beginning of the document. Just look for the header "A Permanent Contract [Good End]" and you can check out the closer to this encounter. All the new stuff is highlighted in pink.

You know, when I started this, it was supposed to be just a short little encounter, no more than 10 pages. Now it's nearly 50 pages, and I have zero regrets. I'm really happy I got a chance to develop this character into something really wonderful.

Wait, you're doing a good end AND a bad end?

Sorry, I should have clarified. I'm doing a good end. But I always think of a gamer-ender as a "bad end" so I've been calling it a good-bad end. Basically, you become Xotchi's full-time submissive and she takes over the quest for Steele's fortune with you by her side.

In regards to the Madam furthering her goals, like the good end would have, you could make the relationship rather de-stressing for her. Less stress means she can work better and harder, which gets her a promotion. As well as the whole Steele fortune thing, of course. Maybe she could merge the companies?

So I do have something like that going on in the end I'm writing. Feel free to take a peek in the pink section and tell me what you think.

 

[Lunaraia]

did a quick read-over and noted some more missing tags and a typo, commented on them, really nice Celebratory scene btw -^_^- also commented on a lil something i noticed all the way at the end