Bounty hunt leading to black-site prison for Steele

Unbeholden

Member
Jul 13, 2019
11
7
Obligatory - First post but long time lurker.

I've been outlining this for a while but thought I'd stop and ask to see what the reception to this kind of thing would be like and to get general critique on writing.

-Yes, I know character submissions are closed.
Currently 27k words in but if i'm serious on this there's a lot to go.

Basic breakdown, avoiding major spoilers, is that a bounty hunter has been hired to capture the player because of an arrest warrant from a far flung GHR planet.

Bounty hunter is a dragon-morph (Half Gryvain) (Pure Fem)

If the player fails to fight her off they're handed over to a third party who instead of transporting Steele to GHR territory whisks them off to a secure black-site illegal prison instead - We'll just say they were given a major financial incentive.

However, if the player succesfully fights off the bounty hunter then she will intermittently attempt to capture the player until they can finally demand she stops, having proven she's no match for the pc. Though, obviously, fighting her off effectively skips the prison portion of the story.

In the prison the player has to deal with the heirarchical system through fighting or fucking until they can formulate an escape plan. There are a few ways to accomplish this; either by collecting necessary materials, threatening or seducing the smuggler, seducing a guard, securing the co-operation of the gang leader, or by replacing the gang leader. - Preferably a mixture of all these to make it easy on yourself.

There are also certain actions that Steele would be able to take throughout the escape process that will determine who escapes or not and how many combat encounters they will need to face.

Failure in a combat encounter will almost certainly result in a bad end - I have 8 planned (3 death, 5 sexual) with 4 written so far.

I'm hoping to have the bounty hunter as an npc later ingame but the end of the quest provides a nice cut-off point to avoid that until she's ready.

The player can call for help from a crew mate but i'm avoiding writing anything too elaborate for them, for now, as i'm sure i'd have to ask permission to put more detailed roles for crew members.

Some samples can be found here, two of the bad ends plus a portion from the very start of the quest and small tit bits throughout. Not asking for free editors just wanting opinions on it no-matter how scathing:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CM4LLXrIfXI8xhI-NYbpqwgYVXlSSwBhhziGB1As5Rs/edit?usp=sharing
 

Crablord

Well-Known Member
Jan 18, 2016
1,071
742
sounds cool
this would probably add a ton more work, but i would like to be able to go to the prison without losing on purpose. forced losses are always bad.

The player can call for help from a crew mate but i'm avoiding writing anything too elaborate for them
...let me throw amber in, she could suck all of them into submission with ease
 

kachowski labowski

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2018
165
117
sounds cool
this would probably add a ton more work, but i would like to be able to go to the prison without losing on purpose. forced losses are always bad.


...let me throw amber in, she could suck all of them into submission with ease
Or fuck.

Also, I second this idea sounding cool.
 
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Damiekinz

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2017
587
499
I had a similar idea a while back and delayed it for fear I couldn't make it work in a satisfying way. Hopefully you can! It looks neat so far, can I inquire as to the nature of the sexual bad ends?
 

Unbeholden

Member
Jul 13, 2019
11
7
In order of appearance:
1. Become an entertainment fixture in the mess hall for the other prisoners (M&F)
2. Used as a mate or becoming a broodmother yourself - Vaginal with tentacle vines / Cowgirl with broodmother.
3. Sentry Robot - "Pacification" then leads to 5.
4. Becoming a bedwarmer for the guards of the facility before they rotate out.
5. Fucked very roughly by the warden before being collared and sold, passed from buyer to buyer before eventually finding themselves purchased by a familiar face.


Also in response to last; added a section where, if you fight the bounty hunter off, you can chose to go with her to deal with the situation. She's a bit perplexed by this but runs with it.
 
Last edited:

Damiekinz

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2017
587
499
Who's the Warden?
 

Unbeholden

Member
Jul 13, 2019
11
7
Currently he's a massive leithan with a penchant for stun whips and sadism. He likes to personally visit misbehaving prisoners.
 

Damiekinz

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2017
587
499
Currently he's a massive leithan with a penchant for stun whips and sadism. He likes to personally visit misbehaving prisoners.
Excellent :3c