[Accepted] CoC II Drider Queen Cuddle Submission

[LooMoo]

Hey everyone, LooMoo here.

I've went ahead and written a victory cuddling scene for the Drider Queen in an attempt to get my feet wet with the text parser before tackling anything more complex. I've already submitted it through the google forum, but I thought it'd be a good idea to get some community feedback while it's in the content que. Specifically, any ideas about making the scene more reactive to character details is appreciated, as this is the first time I've used a text parser system to write. Otherwise, I wanted to explore the Drider Queen's softer side that's hinted at when you're egged by here-- hopefully I've accomplished this, while still being true to her character's voice.


UPDATE: Bubbly bimbo dialogue has now been added. It's been highlighted blue for easy proofreading. If you're an ahem aficionado of bimbo content, let me know how I did, as its generally not my style.

UPDATE #2: A major variation has been added for repeat viewings of this scene. I tried to make the tone feel like a natural advancement from nervousness to confidence, so the queen is a bit more upfront on repeat viewings. Shoutout to Animalistic for proposing this kind of change, its appreciated. And an apology to whoever (hopefully) codes this, I'll try to not make any more work for you through variations lmao.


Thanks in advance for any feedback, here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vGNjIfa3lSTXX_koVbTOsyzKJ4dpHUzXpVhBgyo4bSQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

[Animalistic]

Clever person of unspecified gender, making not having a Bimbo and DK personality as requisites to lessen the workload.

On more serious notes, where are Quation marks when character is speaking? Those are required /

 

[LooMoo]

Fixed.

Thanks, as I submitted it I knew there would be at least 1 stupid and simple thing I'd completely forgotten lmao.

 

[SmithEK]

Shame you have excluded Bimbo champs as Bimbos are also cuddly.. but other than that it looks good.

 

[LooMoo]

Shame you have excluded Bimbo champs as Bimbos are also cuddly.. but other than that it looks good.

Yeah, I was initially on the fence about including bimbo style dialogue, mainly because I lack experience writing in that style. But now, with 2 people mentioning the personality restrictions, that's looking to be a bigger deal than I initially thought it would be. I'm going to go back and workshop some bimbo dialogue modifications over the next few days. Once they're done, I'll update my initial post with a postscript letting people know it's been added. Otherwise, thanks for the feedback-- everyone's been a massive help already.

 

[Greyfox643]

That was a sweet read. I hope this gets accepted

 

[Spidereggs]

Aww, this is sweet - I hope to see it in the game! More interaction with driders is definitely a positive in my books.

 

[pinkcaitgang]

This is definitely cute! Whether it makes it in or not, good work!

 

[Animalistic]

OK, so, while I like it, it would feel weird in game to read this on repeat. Since, each time you would go through same song and dance where game acts like this is your first time doing it with the spider rapist. Just takes me out of experience.

 

[LooMoo]

OK, so, while I like it, it would feel weird in game to read this on repeat. Since, each time you would go through same song and dance where game acts like this is your first time doing it with the spider rapist. Just takes me out of experience.

Most of the stuff that'd be weird on repeats is contained in the 1st scene. I left a note for the programmers to only play the first scene 1 time and skip to scene 2 on subsequent views. I decided to let the programmers handle that since there's no complex documentation for the Spider Queen, due to her being a tertiary character, and parser overrides can be a pain for whoever (hopefully) ends up programming this.

Otherwise, I think scene 2 holds up to repeated viewings since it skips the "I'm nervous about this" song and dance and things that'd only happen once like your promise. If you still don't agree though let me know, and I'll see if I can work something out.

 

[LooMoo]

OK, so, while I like it, it would feel weird in game to read this on repeat. Since, each time you would go through same song and dance where game acts like this is your first time doing it with the spider rapist. Just takes me out of experience.

Fixed.

A new variation was added that should sidestep any issues with repeat viewings, while also continuing tonal continuity. Thanks for the feedback, initially I was skeptical about the repeat viewings thing, but after taking some time away and coming back with a fresh perspective I agree with you. It would've been wierd to see that scene more than once.

 

[SmithEK]

Good luck hope it gets accepted.

 

[Animalistic]

So what is the status on this? Are you getting there?

 

[LooMoo]

So what is the status on this? Are you getting there?

It's still in the process of being reviewed by Balak. He had a lot of stuff on his hands with Viv becoming a companion and had to put editing this on the backburner.

So all in all, we're getting there slowly but surely!