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Corruption of Champions II
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[0.7.20]+[0.7.21] +[0.7.23] Grammar Mistakes and Sentence Format Suggestions
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<blockquote data-quote="FuHyBi69" data-source="post: 445422" data-attributes="member: 43874"><p>There is also a spelling mistake in the fifth paragraph when talking to Brother Sanders about Liaden</p><p></p><p><strong>The Original-</strong></p><p></p><p><em>"Goddess take me, but if I had known that she was with child when we parted, I would have cut my way across Belhar and all the Marches to see Lyana again!"</em> Sanders says firmly, shaking his head. <em>"Had I heard a word of it, I would have been there for her. For both of them. <span style="color: rgb(184, 49, 47)">And now that I know Lyana is putting down <u>root</u> in Maidensbridge</span>, you can rest assured I've sent her a stern letter... and a heartfelt request that she come and speak in person. In the meantime... it seems Liaden intends to stay in Hawkethorne. I'm truly thankful for the opportunity to make up for lost time with her while it lasts, though. Twenty years of lost time, can you believe it!"</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em><strong>My Alteration-</strong></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em><em>"Goddess take me, but if I had known that she was with child when we parted, I would have cut my way across Belhar and all the Marches to see Lyana again!"</em> Sanders says firmly, shaking his head. <em>"Had I heard a word of it, I would have been there for her. For both of them. <span style="color: rgb(97, 189, 109)">And now that I know Lyana is putting down roots in Maidensbridge</span>, you can rest assured I've sent her a stern letter... and a heartfelt request that she come and speak in person. In the meantime... it seems Liaden intends to stay in Hawkethorne. I'm truly thankful for the opportunity to make up for lost time with her while it lasts, though. Twenty years of lost time, can you believe it!"</em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FuHyBi69, post: 445422, member: 43874"] There is also a spelling mistake in the fifth paragraph when talking to Brother Sanders about Liaden [B]The Original-[/B] [I]"Goddess take me, but if I had known that she was with child when we parted, I would have cut my way across Belhar and all the Marches to see Lyana again!"[/I] Sanders says firmly, shaking his head. [I]"Had I heard a word of it, I would have been there for her. For both of them. [COLOR=rgb(184, 49, 47)]And now that I know Lyana is putting down [U]root[/U] in Maidensbridge[/COLOR], you can rest assured I've sent her a stern letter... and a heartfelt request that she come and speak in person. In the meantime... it seems Liaden intends to stay in Hawkethorne. I'm truly thankful for the opportunity to make up for lost time with her while it lasts, though. Twenty years of lost time, can you believe it!" [B]My Alteration-[/B] [I]"Goddess take me, but if I had known that she was with child when we parted, I would have cut my way across Belhar and all the Marches to see Lyana again!"[/I] Sanders says firmly, shaking his head. [I]"Had I heard a word of it, I would have been there for her. For both of them. [COLOR=rgb(97, 189, 109)]And now that I know Lyana is putting down roots in Maidensbridge[/COLOR], you can rest assured I've sent her a stern letter... and a heartfelt request that she come and speak in person. In the meantime... it seems Liaden intends to stay in Hawkethorne. I'm truly thankful for the opportunity to make up for lost time with her while it lasts, though. Twenty years of lost time, can you believe it!"[/I][/I] [/QUOTE]
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[0.7.20]+[0.7.21] +[0.7.23] Grammar Mistakes and Sentence Format Suggestions
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