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Corruption of Champions II
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[0.7.20]+[0.7.21] +[0.7.23] Grammar Mistakes and Sentence Format Suggestions
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<blockquote data-quote="FuHyBi69" data-source="post: 445138" data-attributes="member: 43874"><p>When talking to Garth about rescuing his son Garret at the logging camp, there is a grammar error in the second paragraph</p><p></p><p><strong>The Original-</strong></p><p></p><p>Garth sighs, hanging his dishrag over a shoulder. <em>"Now, <span style="color: rgb(184, 49, 47)">there's a been a problem of late</span> — it actually started before you came, Selena, but recent troubles haven't been making it any better, either. About two to three weeks before you arrived in Hawkethorne, we got word that strange things had been going on near the camp. Animals acting oddly, getting too close to the palisades when they should've been rightfully scared of people. A series of close shaves with things in the darkness, too close together to be mere coincidence.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em><strong>My Alteration-</strong></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Garth sighs, hanging his dishrag over a shoulder. <em>"Now,<span style="color: rgb(97, 189, 109)"> there's been a problem of late</span> — it actually started <strong>before</strong> you came, Selena, but recent troubles haven't been making it any better, either. About two to three weeks before you arrived in Hawkethorne, we got word that strange things had been going on near the camp. Animals acting oddly, getting too close to the palisades when they should've been rightfully scared of people. A series of close shaves with things in the darkness, too close together to be mere coincidence.</em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FuHyBi69, post: 445138, member: 43874"] When talking to Garth about rescuing his son Garret at the logging camp, there is a grammar error in the second paragraph [B]The Original-[/B] Garth sighs, hanging his dishrag over a shoulder. [I]"Now, [COLOR=rgb(184, 49, 47)]there's a been a problem of late[/COLOR] — it actually started before you came, Selena, but recent troubles haven't been making it any better, either. About two to three weeks before you arrived in Hawkethorne, we got word that strange things had been going on near the camp. Animals acting oddly, getting too close to the palisades when they should've been rightfully scared of people. A series of close shaves with things in the darkness, too close together to be mere coincidence. [B]My Alteration-[/B] Garth sighs, hanging his dishrag over a shoulder. [I]"Now,[COLOR=rgb(97, 189, 109)] there's been a problem of late[/COLOR] — it actually started [B]before[/B] you came, Selena, but recent troubles haven't been making it any better, either. About two to three weeks before you arrived in Hawkethorne, we got word that strange things had been going on near the camp. Animals acting oddly, getting too close to the palisades when they should've been rightfully scared of people. A series of close shaves with things in the darkness, too close together to be mere coincidence.[/I][/I] [/QUOTE]
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Corruption of Champions II
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[0.7.20]+[0.7.21] +[0.7.23] Grammar Mistakes and Sentence Format Suggestions
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