[0.7.15] Livrea Quest typos

[Ace Hangman]

The message for joining the Liv dungeon. Granted, this probably isn't super important since most people shouldn't see it

1. Should be 'King's Gate'.


Encounter with Ylvid

2. Should be 'just a cape'


3. Should be 'muscle's' or 'muscle is' instead of 'muscles's'


4. Should be 'kind of'


Fight Her > Combat (Loss)

5. It describes Livrea being sprawled out on her back. It makes no sense that Ylvid is flattening her face into the ground. Possibly 'flattening her head into the ground' or 'flattening her face into her thighs' or something else.


6. Should be 'wrap' instead of 'wrapped'.


7. 'Ylvid' instead of 'Yvlid'


8. Should be 'how naked' instead of 'her naked'


9. Should be 'expect' instead of 'except'.

Additionally, not a typo, but, Hey, I'm an orc. I can't tell if fun times are had with Liv before this and if she gets a taste of you, since I teleported back in time to dungeon, but maybe there can be a parser check for if the Champ is an orc and have her add, "Present company excepted, of course."

 

[Ace Hangman]

Fight Her > Combat (Victory)

10. Should be 'a fight' instead of 'I fight'.


Fight Her > Combat (Victory) > Leave

11. Not really a typo, but this scene here shows up and doesn't seem to fit with you sending Ylvid off (I assume it's the merge scene after a Victory-Fuckin', which seems to be implied by Liv's comment (I am sure I will see it later when I select those.) It should probably either be skipped or say something.


Fight Her > Combat (Victory) > Doggy Her

12. 'Your' instead of 'you'.


13. 'You' instead of 'your'.


Fight Her > Combat (Victory) > Make Her Sing

14. I think this should be 'rather' instead of 'weather'.


Ylvid > Livrea? (bard-off)

15. Should be 'the' instead of 'to'.


16. Should be 'Ylvid's' instead of 'Ylvid''.


Continuing on...

17. Should be 'thundering rush' or 'thunderous rush' instead of just 'thunder', since thunder probably wouldn't have cut the gully. Could just be 'deluge'.


Kobolds > Combat (Loss)

18. I don't understand this part. It doesn't seem like 'knocked to your feet' makes sense. You aren't knocked down and then they knocked you back onto your feet. It might have been 'knocked off' or 'knocked from' you feet, but the last sentence of the page has the kobold knock you down to your knees. I don't know what this might be.


19. Should be 'earn back your own money' or 'earn your own money back' instead of 'earn back your own money back'.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Kobold > Combat (Loss) cont.

20. 'Orcs' should be capitalized, since it's the start of a sentence. I assume there's a [pc.race] type parser at play here.


21. 'effects' instead of 'affects'.


22. This doesn't make sense. At the end of the last scene, you were knocked to your knees. Then here the kobold girl has jumped on your back, supposedly pinning you, I don't know what she's pinning you to, I assumed maybe pinning your arms. Then in a bit the second warrior is hotdogging you and also rubbing your lower back, which I also can't picture being successful if you're laying prone (unless on your stomach, but that isn't the case since your getting the leader's junk in your face.
I think 'prone' is not the right word, possibly 'kneeling' or some other adjective 'submissive', 'vulnerable' etc.


23. 'Orc' should be capitalized as it's the start of a sentence.


24. Should be 'lifts' instead of 'lefts'.


25. This says there's a dick in Champ's pussy, though the second warrior is stated as pressing his conical tip against your star before pressing forward. While this could mean he moved forward to the pussy, the words imply he pressed into the Champs ass. Especially since the third warrior seems to enter this Champ's pussy just a moment later (and it's referred to as 'unused'). This could be fixed in a few ways I guess, either saying he moves forward to your pussy and presses in (assuming Champ has vag), or changing this part to being a dick in Champ's ass.
It's possible I am just reading it wrong, it's very early in the morning.


26. Should be 'for' instead of 'fort'.


27. Would be 'fulfill' with two L's instead of 'fulfil' in American English.


28. This part looks like it's only supposed to appear if maybe Champ doesn't have a dick and the kobold girl isn't involved. Probably just a parser issue.


29. Should be 'your' knot instead of 'her' knot.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Kobolds > Combat (Loss) cont.

30. Should be a space at the start of this sentence, likely a parser error.


31. 'Orc' should be capitalized since it's the start of a sentence.


32. This part doesn't make sense, I know it's supposed to be the area after the kobold fight, but them being 'scattered in terror' doesn't fit the scene if the Champ loses to them. Simplest fix is probably to make it just 'scattered' by itself. Although I admit very few people will probably lose to the kobolds except on purpose.


Kobolds > Combat (Victory) > Roleplay King

33. Should be 'arching' instead of 'arcing'.


Kobolds > Combat (Victory) > Roleplay King > Largest Male

34. Should be 'his' instead of 'he'.


35. Prone generally means 'laying down'. This should probably be 'bent over'.


36. 'Thrust' instead of 'thrusted'. Thrust is an irregular past tense form.


37. Would be 'kobolds' sizes' or 'kobold's size' depending on if you were comparing them all or just the one.


38. Should be 'expert' instead of 'expertise'.


39. Should be 'uselessly' instead of 'useless'.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Kobolds > Combat (Victory) > Roleplay King > Largest Male (cont.)

40. Should be 'exhausted' instead of 'exhausting'.


41. Should be 'they'll' instead of 'they're'.


Kobolds > Combat (Victory) > Roleplay King > Rogue Female

42. Should probably be 'personnel' instead of 'personal'.


Continuing on...

43. I says North, but the path is West (technically Northwest).


44. Should be 'splits' instead of 'spits'.


45. It says South, but the path is East (technically Southeast)


Opening the Puzzle Lock Chest

46. This should just be 'white leather vest' unless there was another color to go with white.


47. Should probably be 'Liv' or 'Livrea'. No time for making up new nicknames at this point.


48. Livrea doesn't call it a dragon here. She does make such a statement if you use the western passage, though. Should either add her dragon dialogue here or change this.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Sea Wyrm > The Stalactite > Leananstone

49. Should be 'sent' instead of 'send'.


Sea Wyrm > The Stalactite > Throw Something

50. Should be 'sent' instead of 'send'.


Sea Wyrm > The Stalactite > Livrea? > Livrea's Magic

51. This should probably be 'lightning' instead of 'lighting'.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Back to play with Arona on the team for this run.

Ylvid > Combat (Victory) > Arona Doubleteam

52. This is probably meant to be 'bush', since it would be quite a feat of contortion for Arona to get her bust in that position while being deep-throated (though they are pretty big while she's pregnant).


53. Should be 'clanswoman's', but I'll admit I don't think anyone will notice...

 

[teawolf]

Should be sorted, except for:

• Livrea's position (up to writer);
• Livrea mentioning Ylvid-fucking (parser issue);
• Thunder--stylization, and fine;
• "Orc" capitalization (parser issue);
• Kobold moresome positioning (up to writer);
• "her" knot--could be characterization choice;
• "Prone" issue, again revision will rely on writer;
• "personal" could work in-context, leaving it;
• Leaving cardinal directions as-are;
• Livrea calling Wyrm a dragon when she doesn't (parser/writer issue);
• "clansman" v. "clanswoman," which is probably fine.

Thanks!

 

[Ace Hangman]

Should be sorted, except for:
...
Thanks!

Wow. That was a long list. I had almost assumed no one ever saw these things after a couple weeks. What happens with things you don't fix? Do you escalate them up a list? Flag them for an author or just... move on?

 

[teawolf]

The list I made is the flag for staff, yep!