because thats an official art from Pathfinder
also i probably would take that image if all the "online tools" that I found could properly clean the background
i see nothing for you to improve, your writing is good as is sex scenes, so right now you should focus working on Val expansion because as it is, this project wont be approved into TiTS
its... ok. i'd say its b/b-
only main issues i see are:
this doc is WAY large- you'll have to rip this thing in 2 parts
2 sex scenes is not gonna cut it - ESPECIALLY when its for cock wielding PC's only