Peragon's Writing Den

[Peragon]

Hello! Just someone looking to write a few bits and pieces, using this thread to keep track of the things I'm working on. Any feedback is more than welcome.

Submitted:
Elyon "Get Ridden" Scene

 

[Ace Hangman]

Nice, concise. Very few errors or typos. I don't think any reviewers will have issues with spelling or other such. Not that what I say means anything. Still, I left one, maybe two comments where some parsers might work. Other than that, the words 'hips' and 'length' seemed to get used a bit overmuch ('hips' not so much to worry about), but maybe do a search for 'length' and make sure they're spread out enough where they aren't the same word used for Champ or Elyon's penis one after the other. Not when there's so many other fun words for it.

 

[Peragon]

Nice, concise. Very few errors or typos. I don't think any reviewers will have issues with spelling or other such. Not that what I say means anything. Still, I left one, maybe two comments where some parsers might work. Other than that, the words 'hips' and 'length' seemed to get used a bit overmuch ('hips' not so much to worry about), but maybe do a search for 'length' and make sure they're spread out enough where they aren't the same word used for Champ or Elyon's penis one after the other. Not when there's so many other fun words for it.

Thank you for the feedback! I've gone through the doc and cleared up most of the easier corrections. It helps a lot having someone else to review my work - I hadn't noticed there were over a dozen lengths, but not a single dick, for instance. I've cut that back to a more reasonable number now. The rest, I'll need to consider how best to implement.