[Now Live] The Crash Landing: an Underground Milk Bar - Version 1.0: Complete

Slab Bulkhead

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Enjoying your time on Dhaal, but wanting to get away from the all-seeing eyes of the corporate overlords? Is sucking a corporate cow's tit feeling a little too much like a bad metaphor? If you're willing to head underground and deal with a little chaos and some improvised construction, I might have your new favorite dive bar.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/115TN7WfiDgJ_LRWM9R-y48ZaDmm7boP3eZxWbvRAydo/edit?usp=sharing

The Crash Landing is a new place on Dhaal, an underground milk bar run by some former space pirates. It's a place to drink, dance, play bar games, and of course fuck the former space pirates. The bar serves creme liquor on one side and milk from the tap on the other, because nobody would know this was one of my projects if I didn't put in a cowgirl. :p

This thing is still kind of bare-bones, but I've been talking about it on the Discord for a long time, and I finally got enough done to share. The writing's been going well and quickly, so hopefully this project won't have any months-long delays like some of my others have.

I'm eager for feedback, so let me know what you think about the place and the girls. Thanks for reading.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Updated to Version 0.2. All of Josie's chat content is in, which includes her backstory and how she became a space pirate.

Spoiler alert, it's pretty much this:
302046694377201.gif


Josie's content includes getting milk from her - not just getting a shot, but drinking it right from the tap. Now, lactation isn't my thing, but I had to do this because it's Dhaal. :D I think I did it pretty well, but I know we've got some lactation fans here, so if I could get some feedback on making the milky stuff hotter, that would be great.

Next update will probably be either Kiki or Karrah, not sure yet. Hope you enjoy this one, feedback's always welcome.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Updated to version 0.3. All of Kiki's talk content is in, along with pool, which includes the first full Silly Mode scene I've ever written. As promised, a drunk Kiki will play the whole game using her dick as the cue. :D

Kiki has actually been through a complete revision. I got some really good advice from the writers on the Fenchat Discord, who pointed out that her character concept didn't really work - there's no way she'd have unwanted mods, not in a world like this, not with them so easy to get rid of. So I rewrote her background and most of the dialogue I'd done. Kiki's now more of a playful hacker and tech geek, who'll gladly share some stories of her time as a space pirate and nerd out with you about the ship she used to work on.

And she's a lot more eager to fuck, which is always good.

Also, I took out the darts game, which I wasn't sure how to write well and would have introduced a nameless zaika girl for no other reason. But I'm replacing it with getting to armwrestle Karrah. Pretty sure some people will be into that.

Next update will probably be Karrah. Hope everyone likes this, feedback is welcome as always.
 
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Slab Bulkhead

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Updated to version 0.4. All of Karrah's talk content is in, including armwrestling. She turned out a little different than I thought she would, and I tried to give her some depth and backstory, to make her more than just another thraggen to fight and/or fuck.

Fighting and fucking are still things you can do with her, but there's plenty to talk about too.

Next update should be Monika.
 
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TheShepard256

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Karrah's Her Story scene said:
Not many thraggen, though you didn't get much of a chance to talk to them, because they were trying to kill you.
Actually not true, mostly. Of all the thraggen in the game, Steele can only fight two (Khorgan and Agrosh), both of whom sexually enslave rather than kill Steele upon loss: Khorgan explicitly states she intends this before the second phase of her fight, though in Agrosh's case what he intends to do is unknown until after losing, so Steele mistakenly thinking he's going to kill them is reasonable. They're also both technically optional encounters, so it's possible to reach Karrah without fighting a single thraggen at all.
Other thraggen in-game include an Extrameet hookup on New Texas (who Steele can have a little talk to, though it's just a prelude to sex), an attendee of the Tavros Peacekeeper Christmas party, one of Anno's bar hookups, and the Bucking Bronco's piano player (who I'm pretty sure was intended to be interactable), none of whom show any aggression towards anyone. It's really only the "because they were trying to kill you" part that I think is the problem; I think cutting that and editing the following paragraph to match would make the scene much more accurate to the game's events.

On a different, but also continuity-related, note:
Karrah mentions that she became a pirate 7-8 years ago in a gabilani space station. The gabilani were only discovered as part of the 14th Planet Rush, so Karrah wouldn't have been able to visit one of their space stations years before the Rush even started.
And before anyone says that Tamani is a gabilani and thus they must have been in the UGC prior to the 14th Planet Rush: I can't actually find any in-game reference to Tamani's race, other than the Dong Designer malfunction scene calling her an elf-girl at one point, so I think people calling her a gabilani is more of a reference to CoC's Tamani than actual fact.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Actually not true, mostly. Of all the thraggen in the game, Steele can only fight two (Khorgan and Agrosh), both of whom sexually enslave rather than kill Steele upon loss: Khorgan explicitly states she intends this before the second phase of her fight, though in Agrosh's case what he intends to do is unknown until after losing, so Steele mistakenly thinking he's going to kill them is reasonable. They're also both technically optional encounters, so it's possible to reach Karrah without fighting a single thraggen at all.
Other thraggen in-game include an Extrameet hookup on New Texas (who Steele can have a little talk to, though it's just a prelude to sex), an attendee of the Tavros Peacekeeper Christmas party, one of Anno's bar hookups, and the Bucking Bronco's piano player (who I'm pretty sure was intended to be interactable), none of whom show any aggression towards anyone. It's really only the "because they were trying to kill you" part that I think is the problem; I think cutting that and editing the following paragraph to match would make the scene much more accurate to the game's events.
Thanks for the correction. :D The only other thraggen I knew about were Khorgan and Argosh, as the others aren't listed in the wiki and I haven't met any of them whenever I've played, except for the one at the Bucking Bronco, and I just forgot about him. I'll make some changes to that line. Though I will say that Khorgan isn't an optional encounter - you need to fight her to get the bomb code to complete Tarkus and get to the next planet. But that's just me being nitpicky. :p

As for the gabilani thing, that's no big deal to change - I was making that up as I went along and a space station made of asteroids bolted together seemed like it would fit gabilani, so I went with it. But I'll change that line so it's not impossible.
 
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TheShepard256

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Though I will say that Khorgan isn't an optional encounter - you need to fight her to get the bomb code to complete Tarkus and get to the next planet.
Actually, Tam is the only necessary encounter in the Stellar Tether; after she's beaten, Steele can leave any time before the bomb explodes, allowing the possibility to avoid Khorgan and/or Kaska. Avoiding Khorgan means missing out on the Platinum-190, and dooming Tarkus to destruction if Kaska is beaten, but the fact that it's possible at all means she's technically optional.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Actually, Tam is the only necessary encounter in the Stellar Tether; after she's beaten, Steele can leave any time before the bomb explodes, allowing the possibility to avoid Khorgan and/or Kaska. Avoiding Khorgan means missing out on the Platinum-190, and dooming Tarkus to destruction if Kaska is beaten, but the fact that it's possible at all means she's technically optional.
Interesting. I had no idea it worked like that, because it makes zero sense to me to head down there and then leave. /shrug Got to account for the player pulling something unexpected, I guess. But I fixed the dialogue, so no worries there.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Updated to version 0.5. All of Monika's talk and drink stuff is in, along with the pre-sex scene. This means all the crew's conversations are in. :D Doc's up to 138 pages, which feels like a shitload.

With all the talking done, let me know if anyone spots any continuity errors. I don't mean two of the crew describing what happened in somewhat different ways, because everybody sees and remembers stuff differently. I mean that if one person says something definite happened one way and someone else says it happened another way, let me know so I can make sure the facts are straight.

Now, all that's left to write is a whole fuckton of sex. And dancing.
 

TheShepard256

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I found a few errors in Monika's Herself scene:
  • You forgot to put "You ask" at the start.
  • The kaithrit homeworld is Rosha, not Roshar.
  • Victor Steele has definitely been to Earth/Terra; it's the location character creation is set in, and several other scenes (Aina's Botany talk, Shade's Christmas event and likely others) confirm that the PC grew up there.
 
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Slab Bulkhead

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I found a few errors in Monika's Herself scene:
  • You forgot to put "You ask" at the start.
  • The kaithrit homeworld is Rosha, not Roshar.
  • Victor Steele has definitely been to Earth/Terra; it's the location character creation is set in, and several other scenes (Aina's Botany talk, Shade's Christmas event and likely others) confirm that the PC grew up there.
Thanks for catching those. :D I haven't played through character creation in forever, and I swear, I was saying "Rosha" in my head with some kind of accent so it came out "Roshar". But it's all fixed now.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Version 0.69 now done, with Kiki and Josie's sex scenes done. :D

Nothing too complicated on either of them - for Kiki, you can swap oral (you blow her first), fuck her ass, or take it up the ass, all with branching scenes. Josie also has an oral scene (she goes first) and a dick-required sex scene, also with branching scenes. Josie will also pull you to her room and give you an edging blowjob/titfuck if she smells that you've got blue balls, which I'm sure will make some people happy.

Would appreciate any feedback on these. I haven't written sex since December, and they still feel a little shaky to me. Plus I need to add in reactions from your genitals when Kiki fucks you in the ass, which I didn't realize I'd completely skipped until tonight. :eek: But that's a problem for later.

Hope everyone likes these, and thanks for reading as always.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Updated to version 0.9, with Monika and Karrah's sex scenes done. Fuck yeah.

Also: how the hell is this thing 99K words long? Seriously, WTF. :eek:

Last up is just some work on the characters' descriptions, a few basic "goodbye" scenes, and one massive edit of the whole damn thing. In theory, the dance scene is also up, but I dunno if I'm going to do that. I've tried writing out some stuff and scrapped it every time - writing people dancing is actually pretty damn boring. I'll see if I can find a way to make it work, but if not, I'll scrap it, because I'm not keeping it in if it's crap. Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to that.

I've told Fenoxo that I'll have this thing done by the end of the month. Only nine days left. I got this. :cool:
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Holy shit, it's done. Look at me, getting a massive TiTS project done in less than three months. :D Seriously, this is less than 100 words sort of 100K. It's a fucking novel. With extra fucking.

Anyway! Last major edit fixed a shitload of small stuff that nobody but me will ever notice. I also added in all the artist notes, including references if you need some more porn to look at. :p

Not much else to say, just glad to get this thing in the bag. Hope you all like it.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Got word today from Fenoxo that the Crash Landing has been approved for coding. I've gotta jump back in it and go over his notes, but that's tomorrow's problem. Tonight, all I can say is THE BAR IS OPEN.

...or at least it will be soon. And for anyone who hasn't seen the pics on the Discord or been in the streams, Adjatha has been doing the bust art already - Josie and Kiki are done, and he's working on Karrah.
 

Evil

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Congratulations on the Crash Landing, played through it, really enjoyed it. So thanks for all the effort, dude.
 
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Slab Bulkhead

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Congrats! I was gonna play Kimber's stuff when I realized I wasn't a backer, but now I can do that and TCL at the same time :)
Nice. I was surprised to see this huge content dump of my stuff in the public patch, but I forgot that the Kimber expansion was added less than a month ago.
 

Z-z

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Okay, first, I love The crash landing, but there's something I don't like, you can only interact with Karrah, Monika, Josie and Kiki.

Don't get me wrong, I love what you've done, but to be a bar it feels a little empty just being able to interact with 4 characters. What I mean is that I'd like to see other characters to interact with.

But this is just my opinion, yet The crash landing is and will be in my top 10 favorite places in the game for a long time.
 

sumgai

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Someone was writing another NPC to go in the Crash Landing, Evening. Fen gave a light no, mostly for edit reasons. So Evening still might see the light of day.
 

Slab Bulkhead

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Okay, first, I love The crash landing, but there's something I don't like, you can only interact with Karrah, Monika, Josie and Kiki.

Don't get me wrong, I love what you've done, but to be a bar it feels a little empty just being able to interact with 4 characters. What I mean is that I'd like to see other characters to interact with.

But this is just my opinion, yet The crash landing is and will be in my top 10 favorite places in the game for a long time.
Thanks, and I'm glad you like the place. "I like this but I wish there was more of it" is always good to hear. But the doc is a little over 100K words - it's novel-sized. Just one more character would have tacked on another 15-20,000 words easily. There's only so much I could have done if I wanted to ever finish it, and I don't even want to know what Fen would have said if I'd sent him something twice that size. :p

Someone was writing another NPC to go in the Crash Landing, Evening. Fen gave a light no, mostly for edit reasons. So Evening still might see the light of day.
Yeah, and that's not the only NPC someone's working on for the place. Now that the bar exists in-game, other people can write for it if they want to. So it could eventually fill up with time, like any good bar would.
 

Aceinthehole

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Someone was writing another NPC to go in the Crash Landing, Evening. Fen gave a light no, mostly for edit reasons. So Evening still might see the light of day.

Can confirm, I've already edited the doc to Fen's specifications. I think it's enough to get it approved now. Still adding extra scenes in the meantime while I wait for submissions to open again; you can check the thread out here in case you want to post feedback! It's been quiet and lonely there recently.

And I wouldn't worry about not having enough NPCs to talk to. I bet a lot of bars were a more empty when they first got added to the game, and look how full say, Anon's bar and The Freezer are now.
 

Azureink

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So I'm stuck with Josie's blue-ball 'You need it' sex dialogue. As my character has various perks that make them always blue-ball'd, I can't get back into her sex menu. Can you update it so an option to either continue with the blowjob or allow for the other sex options is possible?

EDIT - Looks like it happens after any Oral option. If I get blue-balls and then use a save-editor to remove them, then Sex Josie again, it lets me into her full sex options.
 
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Slab Bulkhead

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So I'm stuck with Josie's blue-ball 'You need it' sex dialogue. As my character has various perks that make them always blue-ball'd, I can't get back into her sex menu. Can you update it so an option to either continue with the blowjob or allow for the other sex options is possible?

EDIT - Looks like it happens after any Oral option. If I get blue-balls and then use a save-editor to remove them, then Sex Josie again, it lets me into her full sex options.
I'm busy with other stuff (a book) right now, but I'll look into it. You're the second person to tell me about this and I didn't realize it was gonna be a problem. :eek:

Also: Bullfrawg on the TiTS Discord did an awesome chibi drawing of the bar girls and I want to share it:
image0.png