Got an ok from Savin to try and write a small expansion for the orc thane you meet during Aronas recruitment quest. Containing one of my favourite things: Muscular men powerbottming.
Orshug the orc thane
Orshug the orc thane
[Submitted] Orshug the orc thane
- Thread starter Knife-wielding Crab
- Start date
Alright, I read through it. I noted all the typos and grammatical errors that I found. I left suggestions and opinions and thoughts. Hopefully it helps you polish it up some.
Personally (not being into men), he's not attractive to me sexually, but beyond that, I am not a fan of his millennial way of speaking and his modern slang, like 'dude' 'bro' and 'no shit'. Just my opinion. Other readers and reviewers might differ, but I got the bulk of any misspellings at least.
Personally (not being into men), he's not attractive to me sexually, but beyond that, I am not a fan of his millennial way of speaking and his modern slang, like 'dude' 'bro' and 'no shit'. Just my opinion. Other readers and reviewers might differ, but I got the bulk of any misspellings at least.
I agree with Ace, I think the thane using "bro" can be fine for his "jock" personality but it is really overused. "Bro" is also not an especially sexy word so it's usage in sex scenes is kinda distracting. I think some of it's usage can be changed with just "babe" and most others removed.
Otherwise this was a pretty good read for being quite short.
Otherwise this was a pretty good read for being quite short.
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Thanks you for all the help with the spelling. Fixed the grammar and fiddled with your suggestions. Removed many of the bro's and swapped them with some less distracting titles. I wanted to go for some type of "surfer dude" or "jock" with his style of speech, so I still want him to use some more casual titles for the PC (like "guy", "brother", "man").
Thanks. Glad that you enjoyed it.
on my way offline, so no time to go through it now, but as someone who is into dudes, just wanted to say I salute your endeavors. o7
Game def needs more male content so thanks for contributing.
I left some thoughts on the doc as well but I'm just some rando so don't take anything I say too seriously lol
I left some thoughts on the doc as well but I'm just some rando so don't take anything I say too seriously lol
Thanks for the help. It was very helpful and I used some of your suggestions.
I also submitted the doc.