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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.nitpicky again, sorry, but im not sure if "planets" is meant to be capitalized here? sorry A minute later, another alert flares your... -
PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe remove the comma change "hers" to "her" maybe change to "get your inheritance back" maybe change to "when she may double cross...
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An good indicator aswell is to watch at the minimap when entering an new zone, if an Red Skull appears at the bottom of the minimap you... -
PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe change to "chest" or "crate". sorry this and the last one have been more nitpicky. You slowly pry the treasure open. You gawk in...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe change to "speeding off into the horizon", as it would likely just return directly to the EGG and not dissapear into the city...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.change to "in the direction of" maybe change to "during the flight", as saying "while you were staggered" gave me the initial...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.change to "in the direction of" change to "that rain down to the" The capsule soars through the sky at supersonic speeds, pinning you...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe specify that the dank contains dabby boi here in order to help paint a mental picture for the reader lastly, maybe put...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.change to "floats down from the ceiling" maybe change to "Now here's my part of the deal" maybe change to "certified explosive free...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe remove the comma after "big", and also maybe change to "both from Paulette's death, and from your betrayal" or something like...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.maybe add a comma before "no" Dabbebieth gasps in shock. “Jinx no! Don’t do this to me! Don’t do this to Paulette!”
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.This is kinda redundant, maybe change to "Sirens blare and warning lights flash all around you" lastly, change to "skyscraper", and...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.missing space A short while later, you receive a notice from the Peacekeepers:Caution advised: the leviathan has escaped containment...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.this last bit is kinda redundant, not to mention rough grammar wise. maybe change it to "though you'd be putting them at risk too" or...
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PanzerGuitar00 replied to the thread Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!.change to "stunned" The Space Leviathan careens. It writhes weakly, too hurt and stun to fight back!
