[WIP] Glory Hole Scenes

[zero point sixty]

So having written a fic, and done a bunch of sketches, I figured it was time to finally try writing something for the game. I decided that writing a scene or two for the Kui Country gloryhole would be a good place to start, since they're pretty simple and don't need the parser much. I had a whole bunch of ideas, some of which I may get to later (hence the thread title) but here's the one I went with first:

Beta Nyrea Glory Hole

It's basically a completed first draft right now, I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or editing that anyone has.

A couple of specific questions that occur to me:

1. It's solely an oral giving scene, so like I said, there's very little scope for the parser. Is it still too little?

2. Do I speak too much for the player? I know that once you're in a sex scene it's a bit more acceptable to do that but I'd still like to know.

General comment on writing style and content also welcomed.

 

[NotYouNorI]

That's one resourceful Nyrea Beta. also quite a lot of background characterization for a glory hole encounter.

 

[zero point sixty]

That's one resourceful Nyrea Beta. also quite a lot of background characterization for a glory hole encounter.

Do you mean in the outline or the text itself? The stuff in the outline is mainly to have in my head, to try to create a scene where it feels like there's a real person on the other side. If you're talking about the text, I guess it can detract from the feeling of anonymity, and that's something I'm willing to consider.

 

[valkyr42]

She's cute, I like her. The only point of possible revision I can see is that I think full Nyrea have creamy off-white cum, whereas only Renvra has the pinkish stuff. A quick scan of all base nyrea content and the codex has nyrea cum described at various points as thick, sweet, slightly salty and sticky, following their cream soda theme.

 

[zero point sixty]

She's cute, I like her. The only point of possible revision I can see is that I think full Nyrea have creamy off-white cum, whereas only Renvra has the pinkish stuff. A quick scan of all base nyrea content and the codex has nyrea cum described at various points as thick, sweet, slightly salty and sticky, following their cream soda theme.

Oh right, right. I did refer to the Renvra scene for a bit of dick anatomy without taking into account that the pink hue was from her red half. With the regular nyrea it's not really described unless they're egging you, though I did imagine it as mostly translucent since it's not actually semen.

Thanks a lot!

 

[NotYouNorI]

full Nyrea have creamy off-white cum

That would be Nyrea "male" cum.

Nyrea female (the one with ovipositor cocks) cum is this colour:

GLOBAL.FLUID_TYPE_NYREA_CUM:
                    collection.push("purple", "purple", "purple", "violet");

Do you mean in the outline or the text itself? The stuff in the outline is mainly to have in my head, to try to create a scene where it feels like there's a real person on the other side. If you're talking about the text, I guess it can detract from the feeling of anonymity, and that's something I'm willing to consider.

Not really complaining; just noticing. Tho she is gonna stand out. I mean, the other glory hole users are what (aside from Kaede who only does it when she's there an Kiro and Kally who do it for that one event thing)? A burly space trucker who's dick barely fits the hole and 3 futa girls who take throbb mid scene who are variations of the same scene?
I'm not telling you to detract from the character, just be prepared to be asked to expand on the character if she gets traction.

 

[valkyr42]

My mistake, apologies.

 

[zero point sixty]

That would be Nyrea "male" cum.

Nyrea female (the one with ovipositor cocks) cum is this colour:

Thanks, that's super helpful.

Not really complaining; just noticing. Tho she is gonna stand out. I mean, the other glory hole users are what (aside from Kaede who only does it when she's there an Kiro and Kally who do it for that one event thing)? A burly space trucker who's dick barely fits the hole and 3 futa girls who take throbb mid scene who are variations of the same scene?
I'm not telling you to detract from the character, just be prepared to be asked to expand on the character if she gets traction.

I mean that's kinda the idea, in my ideal world there'd be dozens of repeatable scenes so you really wouldn't know what you were gonna get. I have a handful of ideas for those (did you guess gloryhole catch is a kink of mine?).

This one is a one-off, I think, but I do have an idea of where the character could go if I were to write more. Basically I think it would be fun to have her continue to become more dominant while retaining her spaciness and sunny disposition, rather than becoming a dark mistress or feral alpha type.

btw in my head when you've serviced enough you get a special kiro herm orgy where all your favourites come along to help crown you the bj queen (or king i guess)