[WiP] Calvus, Mothfolk Hypnotist and DILF

Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
After getting enough words down, I figure it's time to put the mothman out there:

While he starts off fairly morose, a well-meaning (or not!) champ might be able to help him with that. Break down those walls though, and you've got a confident, well-meaning, (potentially subserviant) dilf moth hypnotist on your hands! For friendship or something more, he's cool with whatever.

As for his sexual content, he offers two flavours of personality; a sweet and romantic lad looking to make a pc feel special, or, all that plus a somewhat submissive attitude towards making you happy. He also offers hypnotism magics in the bedroom, able to either stimulate the pc in unique and unusual ways, or offer vivid roleplaying.

On top of all that, he also offers his services as a hypnotist, including a temporary change in personality for the Champ.

He's still getting fleshed out for his scenes after his personal quest, so if you'd like to offer advice with regards to ideas, writing, grammar, etc, am always looking to improve. Writing a character that isn't pure smut is definitely outside my comfort zone, but is an area I've wanted to improve in!


Other project: Imp Lord Subjugation loss scene
 
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Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
Alrighty, added a large chunk to the Willpower Succeeded portion, overhauled the structure of the doc, rewrote parts I wasn't happy with, de-complicated some of the parsing choices, and finally, submitted it! Not sure if it's still possible for me to edit after submission but I'll still take any thoughts on this, very much looking to improve where I can. Cheers!
 

Zawarado

Well-Known Member
Aug 29, 2020
86
71
Bravo Kurble! I think this is pretty dang good!^^
One thing I noticed though, at the end it seems like the Imp Lord had the option to fuck the Champ's pussy instead of their ass, but throughout the dock it seems like there weren't any parsers for that.
All in all good job^^
 
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Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
Bravo Kurble! I think this is pretty dang good!^^
One thing I noticed though, at the end it seems like the Imp Lord had the option to fuck the Champ's pussy instead of their ass, but throughout the dock it seems like there weren't any parsers for that.
All in all good job^^
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

With the Champ's vag stuff, the intention was to make it clear it was being ignored in the scene, both to add to the vibe and admittedly also to keep things simple haha. If there's a part where it seemed like I was indicating it was going to be used though let me know! That wasn't the intention and I couldn't find it looking through.

But ye the comments throughout of it being neglected and the lack of the "vaginally filled" status were meant to indicate the imps were ignoring it if you had one.
 
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Animalistic

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Jul 11, 2019
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Oh nice to see that he is still going strong! Did you get any advice from anyone and is there specifically something you want us to pay attention to? Just got to his quest introduction and I am already enjoying it. Especially since [pc.DK] is in pretty good use which is lovely.
 
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Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
Oh nice to see that he is still going strong! Did you get any advice from anyone and is there specifically something you want us to pay attention to? Just got to his quest introduction and I am already enjoying it. Especially since [pc.DK] is in pretty good use which is lovely.
I've been getting help here and there from the lovely beans on the discord! As well as just stealing techniques from other shared docs on here haha.

As for areas to look at, not so much! The only real points of interest I'd say he has for a forum reader atm would be the sex scenes farther down the doc, since those don't usually need as much context. Apart from that, scroll through my boy at your leisure!
 
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Animalistic

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Jul 11, 2019
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I have to say, calvus has a patience of a saint for putting up with champions [pc.isDK|bullshit| colourful personality]. Which is fun most of the time but I do feel like you're maybe pushing it to far in some instances.
 
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Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
I have to say, calvus has a patience of a saint for putting up with champions [pc.isDK|bullshit| colourful personality]. Which is fun most of the time but I do feel like you're maybe pushing it to far in some instances.
If you have any instances where you think the characterisation feels off, feel free to comment on it! The dynamic I was going for is that as your friendship develops, he realises (or figures incorrectly, if your pc does turn out to handle him maliciously during his quest) that your character is more blunt than outright hostile, rationalising your rudeness as such. Which turns into something to tease you on, if you act kind to him during your quest. There is the point on page 26 where he has to stop himself snapping at you over it however, when a DK pc acts rude after touching on a sore point.

But ye, would be happy to consider making changes if I haven't presented that properly in places. As you mentioned he is a very patient and reserved person prior to completing his quest, but I didn't wanna make that cartoonish.
 

Animalistic

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2019
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Ey, Kurble, I am going to reread entierty of the doc since it has been long since I read it entirely. Last time I did it had around 70 so pages, so extra 80 pages are gonna be a doozy. I did just now remember reading that you are writing about maybe corruption some other NPCs. How would that work and how did rest of the writers react?
 

Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
Ey, Kurble, I am going to reread entierty of the doc since it has been long since I read it entirely. Last time I did it had around 70 so pages, so extra 80 pages are gonna be a doozy. I did just now remember reading that you are writing about maybe corruption some other NPCs. How would that work and how did rest of the writers react?
Heyo, and oof, good luck! Don't feel obligated if it's a struggle haha, some if it's quite dry on reread.

As for the corruption thing, I'm assuming you mean his role in corrupting other characters? If so, that'd be something restricted to the "altered" Calvus path, in which he'd be willing to use his hypnotism magics to help change the minds of others, something he wouldn't be willing to do on the other path. At the moment this isn't written. I might still reach out to another writer about this I had this in mind for, but I'm considering slating trying this concept in a future expac, since he's already quite a bit larger than intended, and I wouldn't want this to be a small feature.

So as it stands, the "Altered" path will likely only include his own personality changes and his appearance at the Wayfort upon release, assuming he's not dunked into the dumpster once I submit him.
 

luciel1331

Well-Known Member
Oct 20, 2021
347
346
Bit late to this party here. Just noticed the submission and started to read the mothman doc.....wow that's a lot! You put a lot of effort into this. I like how much variations there on champ's personality and currently enjoying it so far. Hope it does get accepted! I'm not the best writer or editor but will do my best to help.
 

Oh Philomena

Active Member
Jan 20, 2022
41
169
31
So sorry to double-post, but I managed to read Cal's doc today and loved it! He feels like a very clearly drawn, unique character (particularly within CoC2, which can naturally tend to focus hard on hypercocks and not on interpersonal closeness) with tons of love put into his creation. The relationship between him and the champion feels like a genuine friendship with an accompanying amount of sweet, slightly awkward intimacy.

The incredible amount of variation you've incorporated into his scenes is impressive and so welcome, too! It really adds depth to each interaction and makes them all feel closer and more personal.

On a horny note, I liked all the sex scenes but enjoyed the spouse-roleplay the most. Fluffy and fun, but still sexy. You're doing a really great job!
 

Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
Bit late to this party here. Just noticed the submission and started to read the mothman doc.....wow that's a lot! You put a lot of effort into this. I like how much variations there on champ's personality and currently enjoying it so far. Hope it does get accepted! I'm not the best writer or editor but will do my best to help.
Aw thanks! My fingers are crossed too haha. Gonna be taking a bit of a small break from him to finish off some smaller projects per advisement, but will hopefully be back to finish him off in the near future!

So sorry to double-post, but I managed to read Cal's doc today and loved it! He feels like a very clearly drawn, unique character (particularly within CoC2, which can naturally tend to focus hard on hypercocks and not on interpersonal closeness) with tons of love put into his creation. The relationship between him and the champion feels like a genuine friendship with an accompanying amount of sweet, slightly awkward intimacy.

The incredible amount of variation you've incorporated into his scenes is impressive and so welcome, too! It really adds depth to each interaction and makes them all feel closer and more personal.

On a horny note, I liked all the sex scenes but enjoyed the spouse-roleplay the most. Fluffy and fun, but still sexy. You're doing a really great job!
This is so nice, thank you! Really glad you enjoyed what's there. As mentioned above I'm unfortunately taking a small break from him (although if you liked the Imp scene, you'll prob enjoy one of the upcoming projects!), but am keen to finish off what's there soon!
 

Kurble

Active Member
Oct 1, 2015
41
92
That's the plan! The main concern directed at me is because of the way I've laid him out, I likely wouldn't be able to include his sex content in his initial release... which defeats the point of most npcs haha. And even if I cut him in half or into thirds, the submissions would still be quite large, which can be a pain to review coming from a newer author since they'd have to comb through them more intently.

Overall the easiest solution seemed to be to just submit a few smaller projects (Good progress being made there already!) before throwing Calvus into the pile, just to make everyone's lives a bit easier.
 

Animalistic

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2019
1,574
2,013
That's the plan! The main concern directed at me is because of the way I've laid him out, I likely wouldn't be able to include his sex content in his initial release... which defeats the point of most npcs haha.
But remember now, our moth friend here is a male NPC. Sexual content is always secondary to everything else. Sorry, could not help but get that little dig in.


And even if I cut him in half or into thirds, the submissions would still be quite large, which can be a pain to review coming from a newer author since they'd have to comb through them more intently.
Heh, can see your logic. Butter up the proof readers/editors with small stuff untill they are accommodated to receive bigger projects.



Overall the easiest solution seemed to be to just submit a few smaller projects (Good progress being made there already!) before throwing Calvus into the pile, just to make everyone's lives a bit easier.
Are those projects "trade secrets" or...
Well, good luck than.
 
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