[WIP] Calla, human poet[I guess you could say on hiatus?]

Dolphi

Well-Known Member
Dec 12, 2017
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Hi!

I've recently decided to start writing an NPC for the game. This is my first time writing so i don't think it'll be any good, but it's nice to try new things so here i am.

Her name is Calla and shes a travelling human poet. The basic premise is that you can give her items and she'll write different poems about them.

Once your done with her entire story arc, she'll move to Tavros and you can get intimate with her.

This is VERY WIP so dont worry if it isn't any good. I intend to touch up the story later.

Without any further ado, heres the google doc:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ptuMftKYxdXhXB_znP2exno2ARLZQbiTfvM4oWOuA78/edit?usp=drivesdk

Currently doing: Massive overhaul of writing, inconsistent scenes.

Word count: 34K
 
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Lkynmbr24

Well-Known Member
Creator
Oct 30, 2016
832
1,856
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Gotta say that writing an npc as your first project is something that is discouraged.
Never discouraged me, long as you have the drive to see it through to the end!

Also you may want to set permissions so that other people can add comments to the doc so people can help you or give feedback directly in the doc in the future!
 

Dolphi

Well-Known Member
Dec 12, 2017
136
121
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Never discouraged me, long as you have the drive to see it through to the end!

Also you may want to set permissions so that other people can add comments to the doc so people can help you or give feedback directly in the doc in the future!

How do i set permissions? Im using the google docs ad and i cant seem to find how to allow comments.
 

Fr0sty

Well-Known Member
Dec 4, 2017
83
101
How do i set permissions? Im using the google docs ad and i cant seem to find how to allow comments.

Top right hand corner, hit the blue button that says share. Window will pop up. Hit the pencil Icon on the right. Center option should allow comments.
 

Fr0sty

Well-Known Member
Dec 4, 2017
83
101
I read through everything you have so far and I have mixed feelings about her. On the one hand, I really like the traveling poet idea and I really do think you've got something there. The idea of other "rusher" NPC's who are traveling along on their own adventures is cool, even if their own adventure is something simple and innocent. Also, your poems are pretty good. I mean, I'm no English teacher, so I couldn't really assign a grade value to them, but I like them!

On the other her character is a bit meh. Now to be fair I've only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her, so maybe she'll turn into something more but right now all I'm getting is waifu vibes from her. The wide eyed optimist angle is fine and I feel like it's a great start point for a character, but I feel like with her characterization you're having your cake and eating it to. What I mean by that is she's almost TO perfect ya know?

Again, maybe this will change, and maybe you have some grand plan for her character development. Based on your table of contents you might have a dark turn/period planned of Myrellion? That could be interesting, and could make half of what I said in the previous paragraph not matter anymore. If you play it right. The idea of her wide eye'd optimism getting slowly eroded, her poems become bleak and dark for awhile, seeing some real shit in the world her sheltered life and the extranet couldn't prepare her for... Hell, sounds awesome as fuck.

Also, and this isn't really meant to be knock on her or anything, but if she stays pure human over the course of her adventures that would be a huge bummer. Not saying she needs tentacle nipples or a horse cock, but a wide eye'd romantic like her not growing elf ears at least? Come on! Lol :p
 

Dolphi

Well-Known Member
Dec 12, 2017
136
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I read through everything you have so far and I have mixed feelings about her. On the one hand, I really like the traveling poet idea and I really do think you've got something there. The idea of other "rusher" NPC's who are traveling along on their own adventures is cool, even if their own adventure is something simple and innocent. Also, your poems are pretty good. I mean, I'm no English teacher, so I couldn't really assign a grade value to them, but I like them!

On the other her character is a bit meh. Now to be fair I've only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her, so maybe she'll turn into something more but right now all I'm getting is waifu vibes from her. The wide eyed optimist angle is fine and I feel like it's a great start point for a character, but I feel like with her characterization you're having your cake and eating it to. What I mean by that is she's almost TO perfect ya know?

Again, maybe this will change, and maybe you have some grand plan for her character development. Based on your table of contents you might have a dark turn/period planned of Myrellion? That could be interesting, and could make half of what I said in the previous paragraph not matter anymore. If you play it right. The idea of her wide eye'd optimism getting slowly eroded, her poems become bleak and dark for awhile, seeing some real shit in the world her sheltered life and the extranet couldn't prepare her for... Hell, sounds awesome as fuck.

Also, and this isn't really meant to be knock on her or anything, but if she stays pure human over the course of her adventures that would be a huge bummer. Not saying she needs tentacle nipples or a horse cock, but a wide eye'd romantic like her not growing elf ears at least? Come on! Lol :p
Oh my, thank you so much for this.

Ill try to give her more character and add more stuff. I have to admit though, her going from normal human to something else is quite an interesting idea.

Ill work on her some more, then ill be back with an updated version thats hopefully up to everyone's standards.

Thanks for the advice.
 

ForTheGraceOfSatan

Well-Known Member
Jan 16, 2018
78
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link doesn't work :/ but I'm intrigued, seeing human not much modded (finger crossed, haven't read anything yet so i can't tell) character is always refreshing in TITS
 

Miakoda

Well-Known Member
Nov 4, 2017
183
102
Somewhere Somehow
forum.fenoxo.com
Again, maybe this will change, and maybe you have some grand plan for her character development. Based on your table of contents you might have a dark turn/period planned of Myrellion? That could be interesting, and could make half of what I said in the previous paragraph not matter anymore. If you play it right. The idea of her wide eye'd optimism getting slowly eroded, her poems become bleak and dark for awhile, seeing some real shit in the world her sheltered life and the extranet couldn't prepare her for... Hell, sounds awesome as fuck.
We gon get some Doki Doki up in this wasowch! Now we'll just need a path where she'll hang herself and we're all set!

For real though, that would be an interesting turn. Though my opinion doesn't mean much, as I haven't read the doc yet. Link's dorked up.
 
M

MateMint

Guest
Looks cool! A likeable character that slowly grows out of her shell with the help of the PC. I kinda want her to get more and more kinky as the her story goes on, with more and more positions (maybe even some mods?)

If I might add a suggestion: A quest wherein Steele saves her from a one or more of the natives on a planet could be quite interesting. She could make a poem based on her affection to Steele and how you defended her. It kinda goes into heroworship, but it could be fun to see.
 
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MateMint

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Now there's an idea for Dominance play

It could work both ways. She may grow so infatuated with Steele that Steele ends up in her ship after a night drinking, she may or may not have added something to Steele's drink. Steele finds her/himself tied to the bed with Calla watching Steele sleep and/or working on giving Steele a very good morning!
 
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NotYouNorI

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Aug 26, 2015
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It could work both ways. She may grow so infatuated with Steele that Steele ends up in her ship after a night drinking, she may or may not have added something to Steele's drink. Steele finds her/himself tied to the bed with Calla watching Steele sleep and/or working on giving Steele a very good morning!
That sounds like a very bad dom...
 
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Dolphi

Well-Known Member
Dec 12, 2017
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M
It could work both ways. She may grow so infatuated with Steele that Steele ends up in her ship after a night drinking, she may or may not have added something to Steele's drink. Steele finds her/himself tied to the bed with Calla watching Steele sleep and/or working on giving Steele a very good morning!
Maybe with less of the druggy rapey thing since she is supposed to be a good person, but yeah!
 
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MateMint

Guest
Maybe with less of the druggy rapey thing since she is supposed to be a good person, but yeah!

That sounds like a very bad dom...

Yeah, but a naive person who's never been with anyone and has a hard time expressing her feelings. It's stated that she has a high libido and well... Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Nevertheless I'm looking forward to seeing her character develop.
 

NotYouNorI

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Aug 26, 2015
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Yeah, but a naive person who's never been with anyone and has a hard time expressing her feelings. It's stated that she has a high libido and well... Desperate times call for desperate measures.

pzv5j7l.jpg
 

Dark67titan

Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2016
955
238
Yeah, but a naive person who's never been with anyone and has a hard time expressing her feelings. It's stated that she has a high libido and well... Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Nevertheless I'm looking forward to seeing her character develop.
yeah no matter how you put it it’s still fucked up
 

Dolphi

Well-Known Member
Dec 12, 2017
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Hey guys, im trying to write a horror movie that you watch with her, and im wondering. Can you write violent content if its in a movie?

Im not writing graphic things like people being torn to pieces or whatever, but im trying to write a horror movie where people die, and i was wondering if i could do that or if that was off limits?
 

Miakoda

Well-Known Member
Nov 4, 2017
183
102
Somewhere Somehow
forum.fenoxo.com
Hey guys, im trying to write a horror movie that you watch with her, and im wondering. Can you write violent content if its in a movie?

Im not writing graphic things like people being torn to pieces or whatever, but im trying to write a horror movie where people die, and i was wondering if i could do that or if that was off limits?
Fisianna’s third date is just that; you watch a horror movie with the kitten in which people get mauled to death by an alien. Of course, the scene doesn’t give any graphic depictions, but it is allowed
 

BitchBroken

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Dec 24, 2017
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The horror movie thing is so corny. Let me guess, the girl gets startled, she tugs on your arm and you comfort her.