The Concubine- Short Demo (Is it worth it?)

[Jaitzche]

So I've been working on an idea for a little bit and, I'm really just not sure if I should keep pursuing it. It's not that I don't like writing it or don't have plans, but my worry is that no one will be interested.

So, about the game: It's a purely text based game, no images (I have no artistic skills and am currently working on this alone). You are a slave just recently sold off to the Prince, to become one of his concubines. While it can be considerably open ended, you have a few goals to choose from (Finding ways to seduce others, becoming the Prince's spouse, running away, etc), with the ability to partake in various fetishes (this part is the part that's a bit lacking as I know what I like but I need a bit of help from the community on what to add later. Currently the only thing officially planned is dom/sub, impregnation (mpreg- I'll touch on that in a sec), and manipulation. It will not have rape (though dubious consent is optional), nor incest.

It's not particularly linear- outside of choosing your own goals, you'll meet an maintain relationships with others, explore and discover secrets of not only the palace but the residents of the city.

Characters are not human, but human in appearance with animal aspects. I was a little iffy on what to call them, though, so that will be expanded (I mean, I likely won't keep calling them 'Cat-Type' or 'Lizard-Type' etc.)

Pairing wise- Currently I'm writing it as strictly M/M. I might open it up later down the road but for one, it's what I know best, and also I really don't see a lot of games that have the pairings, at least not without heavy implications of M/F or M/Futa.

A little info about the game itself: It's written in Ren'py, though I might try my hand at something different instead, it was just something that was relatively easy to learn (a huge bonus being there's already a save system in place, as well as mechanics already in place).

Currently the game ends just before the first day. Once the first day is reached I intend to allow for exploration of the palace, meeting of other characters, and a plethora of random events to keep things from getting too tedious or repetitive.

But like I said before, my concern is that it won't be interesting, either in concept or execution. So, please, tell me what you think and if you think anything can be improved, or added. I'll happily answer any questions!

https://mega.nz/#!tkJ3QAiL!Kd-7KBxUu70-Qzuswqw33mBL2BQXn-LV3ZRDrCsiWwo

 

[TheDarkMaster]

The game isn't my style, but I can give a bit of advice on the name. 'Concubine' is explicitly defined as a female consort, so you might want a different name. 'Catamite' might be what you're looking for, a term for attractive boys who had a older male friend in ancient Greece.

 

[Jaitzche]

The game isn't my style, but I can give a bit of advice on the name. 'Concubine' is explicitly defined as a female consort, so you might want a different name. 'Catamite' might be what you're looking for, a term for attractive boys who had a older male friend in ancient Greece.

I appreciate even this much, so thank you!

Honestly I had no idea there was a male term for it. My worry is, if I change it to that, people might wonder, well what is that and overlook it.

 

[TheDarkMaster]

I appreciate even this much, so thank you!

Honestly I had no idea there was a male term for it. My worry is, if I change it to that, people might wonder, well what is that and overlook it.

Something like this is more likely to stand out, since it's different. You want to advertise what kind of content to expect as best you can, that's the most important thing. Most people will at least look at your page and see if the content is something they'd like. A name like 'concubine' is very forgettable and implies some female content, so you are currently more likely to have m/m fans overlook this with that name at the moment.

 

[Jaitzche]

Something like this is more likely to stand out, since it's different. You want to advertise what kind of content to expect as best you can, that's the most important thing. Most people will at least look at your page and see if the content is something they'd like. A name like 'concubine' is very forgettable and implies some female content, so you are currently more likely to have m/m fans overlook this with that name at the moment.

That's very true. I'd edit the title but it doesn't seem to want to let me.

 

[TheDarkMaster]

I don't think you can change the subject line, you might have to create a new thread to change that or get a mod's help.

 

[Jaitzche]

I don't think you can change the subject line, you might have to create a new thread to change that or get a mod's help.

Gotcha. Again, thanks! Even if it wasn't something you played through I appreciate it!

 

[Simplydoge]

Just played it and I like it so far, are you planning on having more race options?

 

[Jaitzche]

Just played it and I like it so far, are you planning on having more race options?

I'm glad you like it! I do think I'll expand on race options, but I'm working on moving things in to a different program so it depends on how convoluted it ends up being.

 

[Quelii]

I like what's there so far! The writing seems fine to me and I like how simple the presentation is, UI wise. I'm keen to see where it goes, especially since I seem to have trouble finding m/m focused games, and ones where the pc is a pretty boy sub is exactly what I'm always looking for more of (also a+ decision on making the mpreg option not require a vag tbh.)

 

[Jaitzche]

I like what's there so far! The writing seems fine to me and I like how simple the presentation is, UI wise. I'm keen to see where it goes, especially since I seem to have trouble finding m/m focused games, and ones where the pc is a pretty boy sub is exactly what I'm always looking for more of (also a+ decision on making the mpreg option not require a vag tbh.)

I'm glad you liked it!

I'm currently working on redoing it in twine (UI should still be about the same, with some sidebar stuff). But hopefully won't be longer before I get more content out.

 

[karunama]

The game isn't my style, but I can give a bit of advice on the name. 'Concubine' is explicitly defined as a female consort, so you might want a different name. 'Catamite' might be what you're looking for, a term for attractive boys who had a older male friend in ancient Greece.

As TDM pointed out, the Concubine is absolutely a problematic title for an M/M game. I myself am a gay man and completely skipped over this thread the first several times I saw it since I assumed the MC would be female.

A few other terms you could consider; Cupbearer and cabinboy are explicitly for young male sex workers depending on place (Greece again, or on ships). Consort is a non-gendered term and of the few ways to describe a male who sells his body that *isn't* derogatory.

 

[Jaitzche]

As TDM pointed out, the Concubine is absolutely a problematic title for an M/M game. I myself am a gay man and completely skipped over this thread the first several times I saw it since I assumed the MC would be female.

A few other terms you could consider; Cupbearer and cabinboy are explicitly for young male sex workers depending on place (Greece again, or on ships). Consort is a non-gendered term and of the few ways to describe a male who sells his body that *isn't* derogatory.

I don't know why I didn't think of Consort, to be honest (and I'd never knew cupbearer and cabinboy were a thing, so that's neat). I'll get the title changed as soon as I have a new demo out. Thanks for the input!

 

[karunama]

Coincidentally, Ganymede (the mythological boy, not the constellation) is the most famous example of a cupbearer. Such a position did denote filling the master's winecup, but also letting him drain his essence into your 'cup'. Cabinboys on the other hand were something of a necessity of life for sailors who tended to be well known for both being 'lusty' and incredibly superstitious. In particular, it was widely held that having a woman on board a ship was bad luck, and many of those ships spent months at sea at a time. Really puts Treasure Island in a slightly different light when you remember what a cabinboy does in addition to all the miscellaneous crap jobs on a ship.

 

[Stemwinder]

Even with some better words for the position the title doesn't stick out much. Don't agonize over it now, though, titles are one of those things that can come to you at any point during the process.

Your writing's stiff, very matter-of-fact, and that can feel stuffy for this type of project. If you want it to be interesting, especially in that way, it needs to feel more lively. Concept-wise it's fine, though, and it looks like you're hitting all the major demographics for m/m content (the furries, gay men, and trap fans and giving them all the option to make the sort of character they're interested in). If you can polish it up you should garner plenty of interest.

 

[Quelii]

While I agree that Concubine isn't the best title, I wouldn't stress over it too much till you're ready to put out the next update. You could always come up with something completely different than just basing the title on the PC's position after all And I think it's probably a good idea to just put "m/m" or "gay" or anything after the title, whatever it's gonna be. That way people will definitely know

 

[MayrunSC]

When I first saw this thread, I thought that it was referring to Logan Scodini's Concubine...game? storybook? cyoa?...thing. I only clicked on it because it kept up showing up and thank goodness I did, this seems interesting.
Also, I love that you spell 'blond' correctly, it's just tiny pet peeve of mind to see 'blonde' used to refer to males.