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Corruption of Champions II
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<blockquote data-quote="Superfreq" data-source="post: 441222" data-attributes="member: 34780"><p>Nina's vision quest part II [continued]</p><p></p><p>stairway room description after feathered fiend battle</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35915[/ATTACH]</p><p>//Extra "of".</p><p>The promise <em>of of</em> sanity and stability beckons...</p><p></p><p>sleeping in the warped wayfort</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35916[/ATTACH]</p><p>//It should say "she wants".</p><p>She can join you if <em>you want</em>.</p><p></p><p>asking Nina how to free Thalia</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35911[/ATTACH]</p><p>//"wasn't" should be "weren't" since "changes" is plural.</p><p>Throughout this conversation, you've had the feeling that... well, she certainly takes pride in being amongst the first to serve the goddess, and that the changes to her body <em>wasn't</em> an unfortunate deformity, but a mark of devotion to Nareva.</p><p></p><p>Nina's revelation, page 2</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35912[/ATTACH]</p><p>//"trippy".</p><p>Doesn't sound like a lot, but I think you can agree that in a <em>tripply</em> place like this, clarity's coming at a premium.</p><p></p><p>Nina finally gets her brazenberry ale</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35913[/ATTACH]</p><p>//Unnecessary " a ".</p><p>I need to be <em>a</em> far more smashed than this to put everything in perspective."</p><p></p><p>examining the bodies in the morgue</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35914[/ATTACH]</p><p>//The word "tell" seems to be missing.</p><p>While the remains are discrete from each other — as haphazardly as the corpses were treated, at least they weren't jumbled into one big bone pile — age and the cramped conditions make it virtually impossible <em>to what's</em> what.</p><p></p><p>drinking Nina's "juice"</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35917[/ATTACH]</p><p>//Extra "and more".</p><p>Enough wizards have swallowed, smoked, snorted and more enough substances <em>and more</em> that the fact that you've yet to hear of anyone eating the recreational herb is surprising.</p><p></p><p>finding item stash</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35918[/ATTACH]</p><p>//Unnecessary word.</p><p>You investigate the section of wall more closely, and as <em>so</em> it happens there's a small storeroom set in an alcove like the one you started off in, only smaller and still full, it seems.</p><p></p><p>return home</p><p>[ATTACH=full]35919[/ATTACH]</p><p>//The word "that" is missing.</p><p>Might want to return that to Tychris when you have the chance, pass her off to her goddess; it'll have been a long trip home for the first-generation Astrida, but all's <em>well ends</em> well.</p><p></p><p>//This should instead be "somewhere".</p><p>But when I felt that wrenching feeling while we were grabbed and tossed off <em>someone</em> in the Ways where we didn't belong, and from that point it was all one chaotic mess where anything could happen."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Superfreq, post: 441222, member: 34780"] Nina's vision quest part II [continued] stairway room description after feathered fiend battle [ATTACH=full]35915[/ATTACH] //Extra "of". The promise [I]of of[/I] sanity and stability beckons... sleeping in the warped wayfort [ATTACH=full]35916[/ATTACH] //It should say "she wants". She can join you if [I]you want[/I]. asking Nina how to free Thalia [ATTACH=full]35911[/ATTACH] //"wasn't" should be "weren't" since "changes" is plural. Throughout this conversation, you've had the feeling that... well, she certainly takes pride in being amongst the first to serve the goddess, and that the changes to her body [I]wasn't[/I] an unfortunate deformity, but a mark of devotion to Nareva. Nina's revelation, page 2 [ATTACH=full]35912[/ATTACH] //"trippy". Doesn't sound like a lot, but I think you can agree that in a [I]tripply[/I] place like this, clarity's coming at a premium. Nina finally gets her brazenberry ale [ATTACH=full]35913[/ATTACH] //Unnecessary " a ". I need to be [I]a[/I] far more smashed than this to put everything in perspective." examining the bodies in the morgue [ATTACH=full]35914[/ATTACH] //The word "tell" seems to be missing. While the remains are discrete from each other — as haphazardly as the corpses were treated, at least they weren't jumbled into one big bone pile — age and the cramped conditions make it virtually impossible [I]to what's[/I] what. drinking Nina's "juice" [ATTACH=full]35917[/ATTACH] //Extra "and more". Enough wizards have swallowed, smoked, snorted and more enough substances [I]and more[/I] that the fact that you've yet to hear of anyone eating the recreational herb is surprising. finding item stash [ATTACH=full]35918[/ATTACH] //Unnecessary word. You investigate the section of wall more closely, and as [I]so[/I] it happens there's a small storeroom set in an alcove like the one you started off in, only smaller and still full, it seems. return home [ATTACH=full]35919[/ATTACH] //The word "that" is missing. Might want to return that to Tychris when you have the chance, pass her off to her goddess; it'll have been a long trip home for the first-generation Astrida, but all's [I]well ends[/I] well. //This should instead be "somewhere". But when I felt that wrenching feeling while we were grabbed and tossed off [I]someone[/I] in the Ways where we didn't belong, and from that point it was all one chaotic mess where anything could happen." [/QUOTE]
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