The whole doc seems like it is I'm early stages of development. For example.
"Eating the date fills your mouth with that mild sugary-sweet common for nearly all dates. Although the least favored part of the date to races without hearing capabilities soon kicks in — the quiet echoes. All sounds you make are tuned down to your ears and echoed as reverberation through your head [pc.raceBatfolk|making a delightful rhythm in your head.|causing you a mild headache due to how unused to these sounds you are.]"
"Eating the date fills your mouth with that mild, sugary-sweet common for nearly all dates."
This part feels really awkward to read through for couple of reasons.
Repeating same words, in this case "date", in a sentence/paragraph is usually a no no since it makes your prose seem monotone. While there are cases where you can do it (when you want to emphasize something for example), this is one of those times where I feel you can easily avoid it.
Second, "sugary-sweet". I feel that it should be followed by a noun such as delight since alone to me it they are just two similar adjectives stacked on top off each othe.
Lastly, "common to nearly all dates" is weird. If you want to bring to the front to how unremarkable it is in its tastiness, there are better ways to do it.
This is how I would write this entire sentence.
"Taking the bite out of this sweet, sugary date leaves you with a pleasant, if unremarkable, aftertaste --not that dissimilar from those that you can find in your local bakery." Keep or remove the part after "--" .
What little I flipped over inside your doc leaves me feeling the same way as the text above. Just in next sentence you have another "date" and the last part has "sounds" repeating 2 times.
I would recommend going over your English once more.
docs.google.com
