I am really into the concept. I also believe you are on the right track, the current intro (the thing I've read) does not work as well as it could. Personally, when l am in such a situation, I tend to read the text, and then restart on a blank sheet of paper. But maybe this does not work for you.
Like I said, I really like the concept you got here. I'd love to wake up horny, and find a corrupted Cait masturbating furiously. IMO the beginning is starting too late. I do not know I am horny before you establish cait. I also do not really know where I am. To me, there should be 1-2 paragraphs before the current start.
Then you come to cait, which has a ton of potential. I love the basic question: "What if Cait got turned into a demon?" To me this part kinda works, but you could do more with it. Like there is a fire. She's a demon from hell: Fire. I come down filled with lust and desire: Fire. All that stuff.
Then IMO comes the weakest part, the backstory with Kas. I am in a dream exploring the question: "What if Cait got turned into a demon?". If I, as a reader, have accepted the premise, I do not care about the backstory, I wanna know more about Demon Cait. "... since Kas turned her into a demon" is half the backstory I need for this dream.
The other half is: "why I would keep a demon around". You half-answer this question in your text by referencing pheromones. But this is only the justification, the reason is because Cait was already a supernatural sex-demon before her corruption. And now she is even more so. The pheromones is the thing that makes me feel supernaturally horny for demon-cait. Now I wanna feel the horniness through the text.
So in short I wanna read more about how cait sucks her own horse-cock differemtly since she became a demon, and less about non-canon Kass.
