[Ren'Py] LiveToFight 0.1 New Game

[Zerhadar]

This Visual Novel It's about a Young boy who gets in trouble with money for stealing the wrong person, now he must return it, and he doesn't have it, he will have to go with an old friend to have help, a friend who knows the underworld, the world of Illegal fights, to get fast money, and on the way to solve problems, all kinds of sexual situations can happen.

Fetishes

• Big ass
• Big breasts
• MILF
• Oral
• Voyeurism
• More Fetishes Soon

This Game It's New, hope you like.

This is an adult visual novel with choices that influence gameplay.
Small decisions can cause big changes.

A little of extra info on patreon page.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheGrinder

Download for PC: https://mega.nz/#!0ixyFazC!NRRoGRr7-3oTbNnQEtMI-sMNmM9vk4VTNfNhQwTXZww

Download for MAC: https://mega.nz/#!ZjwwnKDS!OlBsH89422wkaerzNrisSzn8SSkSdvXGB4jfbgGJFU4

ENJOI!

 

[karunama]

This isn't something I would play since it clearly isn't to my tastes, but even so, I have pertinent and useful advice.

Get an editor. You need one. Your English is atrocious. I'm not saying this to make fun of you or anything like that, but simply put; if a game had grammar like your post, not even the best graphics in the world could save it. You aren't a native speaker, so getting an editor isn't an extravagance, but a necessity.

 

[Blaidd32]

Some of my first impressions:

- Nice visual presentation of the characters and scenes.
- Punctuation marks are not optional. Please end a sentence properly.
- There is a nice variety of girls.
- It would be good if the MC could be a little less vague about a lot of his responses. We don't exactly have a prologue or proper intro, so hearing him dodge interesting questions is sad.
- Currently you are not fluent enough in English to present natural dialogue. Your characters won't come to life if they sound like foreigners. Perhaps you can get some help from a native speaker.

 

[Zerhadar]

Thanks for the advice
I used a translator to make the text look clearly but now I think I mess up
I will work on it right now and again thank you guys