I need advice. I'm scared that my issue aren't being resolved just through me toughing it out and trying to move pass them. I was here before a couple of years ago. Back then I play CoC and TitS and then stopped. I didn't fully remember why I stopped so I rejoined the games and found out about the new one, the sequel for CoC. I've playing all 3 now, started new characters for each and thought I would kill time and get back into it. But then I started remembering why I left. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but when I read through the game get a sinking feeling the more I play it. Like this is it for me. This is all I'll ever have. Just a game when it comes to successful relationship and so-called "growing up." I'm 34 years old and a virgin man. I just don't have any good relationship stories. And I always thought as long as I tried hard and kept at it I'd finally make one work. But like finding a job I like, it never happens. I'm sure everyone plays the game and never take much of any of them seriously. But I do. I feel like crap when I mess up even if I reload the game and try to keep the characters from getting humiliated and raped or used. It often hits too close to home. I've been bullied and humiliated by so-called "friends" and foes alike. And because of it I've never been one to be confident in being naked or flirting or sex. All I think about is what could go wrong. What has gone wrong. And what way to avoid them. And it's not just with sex and relationships, either. It's the same reason I don't want to grunt and sweat at the gym around people. What is I get nervous and vomit on her. What if I pass gas during sex. What if I go limp because I don't like blow jobs. What if I'm terrible and she tell everyone. No matter what I do I can't shake these thought. And as I play CoC, TitS, and CoC2 I get the feeling I can't only be turned on when I alone and seeing something as long to perfect as possible. What if I hate myself so much that the idea of woman with pimples, or bowl movements, or STDs or being mock can only be tabled when I can disassociate from it by the act of sex happening to a fictional character that will never be written to humiliate themselves in huge way. I wanted to hear what my fellow peers think. I would think here at least I could get all this off my chest with someone just hand-waving it and say "go get help, loser".