Funny Phrases of Outer Space

[rafabud]

come on people, post the funniest, most memorable phrases and quotes you've found in the game.

currently my favourite is from one of the Milk Thief's tailfuck variations: "She’s up against the wall and you are the fucking wall."

 

[TheShepard256]

Any scene that mentions someone being like a bitch in heat, then lampshades it if one of the participants (usually Steele) is an ausar-like or dog-like race and/or is in heat.

"They’re putting those V-KO units everywhere now. I bet you’ve met one yourself. Robot servants of a giant corporation that tend to you when you are at your most vulnerable. Every planet one giant Petri-dish for their newest experimental drugs." Colenso shakes his head sadly at the gullibility of the galaxy at large. "You know they react to certain commands? Most folks just try and work out which ones will make them have it off with you. Me, I’m more interested what happens if you give ‘em commands like “begin invasion”. Or “release virus”. Or “electro”."

The funny part is that "electro" is an actual command Steele can give to a V-KO - and it's one of the ones that "will make them have it off with you" (it's an electric stimulation scene).

Erra is impressed by the time you finish, looking at you wide-eyed for a moment before speaking up, "Uh, wow, you know when you’re picking up random [guys/chicks] at bars, you don’t exactly expect to come across billionaire fortune-hunters, especially not cute ones."
You smile and tell her that’s what they usually say.

Not funny by itself, but considering that this could very well be the first post-tutorial conversation you ever have in a bar...

Mischievous Steele has a few gems, including but not limited to:

You put your hands behind your back and smile coolly.
"Thank you for your help in this matter, citizen Colenso," you say, holding his gaze levelly. "The... interests... I represent are pleased with your due diligence. The AI we recovered will aid our cause in ways you cannot imagine." The gabilani’s eyes practically start out of his face.
"I – you - I bet I could, though! I could be helpful to you if – if you just told me what you need? To one of my computers’ mics? Clearly stating your goals and the organisation you represent at the same time, if possible?" You wave your hand casually.
"The store discount, as agreed. That is all."

You pitch your voice as best you can to match the ant officer’s. It’s not a great impression, especially since you don’t speak their language except through a translator program, but... hey. At least there’s a lot of static and distortion on the line. Probably can’t tell too much difference.
"Uhh... everything’s under control. Situation normal," you try.
The woman comes back, "What happened? We heard gunfire from the factory!"
"Just, uh, just a weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything’s alright! I’m fine. Everybody’s fine, thank you! Uh, how’re you?"
There’s a moment of silence. "I see. Perhaps I should return and check in on my careless daughters, then."
"Uh, no, no, that’s alright. We, uh, have a fuel leak here! Hit a gas line. Give us a few minutes to patch it up!"
The voice pauses again. "You’re not Ellira. What have you done with my daughter!?"
You sputter, looking out the window towards an approaching armored truck thundering down the street. Guess she’s coming to visit.
"Bye, mom!" you laugh, and blast the console.

Though not visible in-game, some of the function names are pretty funny, too. My favourites are "mausSquirtsCumWhenSurroundedByCumSlutsAsADefenseMechanism" and "syriButtreamHeatButtPCButtsInTheButtWithAButtDIDISAYBUTTYET".

Finally, though not in-game, I think it would pretty funny if someone used "By Fenoxo's horsecock" as an exclamation.

 

[Paradox01]

Props to whoever wrote Sera. She has some great dualogue. Have a kid with her and then catch her in the nursery.

Sera's best part, though, is the bitch-off scene with Saendra post-Fools Rush In when the latter goes to The Dark Chrysalis to buy a dick.

 

[rafabud]

Mischievous Steele has a few gems

oh man, those are great! Can't believe they try to pull a Han Solo on Estellia!

 

[Stemwinder]

The funny part is that "electro" is an actual command Steele can give to a V-KO - and it's one of the ones that "will make them have it off with you" (it's an electric stimulation scene).

At some point "release virus" was actually added as a keyword to trigger the electro scene, so when it responds and the V-KO is shocking Steele to orgasm all you can think is COLENSO WAS RIGHT

 

[TheShepard256]

At some point "release virus" was actually added as a keyword to trigger the electro scene, so when it responds and the V-KO is shocking Steele to orgasm all you can think is COLENSO WAS RIGHT

Actually, it triggers one of up to two different sex scenes (one each for cocks and vaginas; it does nothing if Steele's a neuter) due to having 'release' in it. Still, it triggers a sex scene, so still funny.