Exploration (TiTS Fic)

[theGreatCatsby]

So I've been trying to figure my way through a few new kinks since starting TiTS, mostly exhibitionism and the 'nuki nuts thing. So, I decided to try to feel it out with a porn. Which I'm now sharing, because what would even be the point otherwise. It's a masturbation session with my Steele, a half-kaithrit who picked up a cock on Tarkus, Nuki Nutbutter on Tavros, and an exhibitionist streak from spending too much time in the stocks on New Texas. Comes with built-in sequel potential because I'm incorrigible and suck at endings.


Nykta heaved herself into the alley. She sighed as she slid her back down the wall, her tails curling around to rest next to her thighs. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, savoring how easily it came when she didn't have to support the extra weight. She exhaled slowly, and steeled herself to face the problem at hand. Namely, the fact that her balls were rising half a metre off the floor.

It had been three weeks since she had gotten herself the kui-tan testicles treatment, and she had been enjoying it for the most part. She had always been a prodigious squirter, especially by half-kaithrit standards; she'd tried masturbating in a public bathroom once and her stream had hit the door. So it made sense to her that her new cock should come with the messiest orgasms in the galaxy, too. The past three weeks had seen an unprecedented amount of the rushworlds and their DTF denizens painted in a layer of cum, and the sheer memory of an orgasm like that was usually enough to get her hard.

The downside was that through no fault of her own (or very little fault of her own, anyway), Nykta had ended up sucking dick noticeably more often during the past three weeks than she ever had before. The cum cascade had seemed like a fun potential indulgence before, when most cocks were focused on getting between her legs or her (admittedly magnificent) tits. But suddenly, everyone seemed to be all about the oral. When they were cascading, her balls grew faster than her libido, eventually forcing her to adjust her usual shibari undergarments to allow her sack to just hang underneath her, free to swing and grow past the cloth sheath she had arranged in most of her clothing. Nykta briefly wondered if there were support groups for this sort of thing.

She shook her head. Distraction and rest, thats what she needed right now. In a minute, she'd stand up again and heave her giant balls back to her ship, where Celise or Anno would happily take care of them. She'd just have to haul her swollen, knee-length scrotum through a few more blocks. And up some stairs. And they'd almost certainly have grown bigger by then. Nykta sighed. There was a voice in the back of her head she'd been pretending to ignore for a while now. A voice reminding her of all the fun she'd had with exposing herself on Mhen'ga, and of that time with the stocks on New Texas. She only realized she'd been fingering her cock's sheath when it started to poke out. Nykta drew a long, deep breath. She held it in for a moment, then released it in a sharp, short "fuck it."

She tapped the quick-release on her armor, which fell open to reveal her own massive, rope-bound cleavage. She shrugged her arms free and dragged one boob to the side to get a better view of her groin. She felt her horsecock surge upward as the the movement ground a rope knot against her nipple. With her other hand, she quickly brushed aside the fold of the armor weave still over her sheath. The edge dragged along the taut surface of her balls, causing a shiver to run through her tails and her cock to raise up to half-mast. Her feline ears twitched, jumping at every sound as she gripped her cock with one hand. She gave it a long, languishing stroke down its length, twisting her grip a bit once she hit the base. It grew longer and thicker with each passing second, pushing her fingertips apart with its girth, until it finally reached its full sixteen inches. Grinning stupidly at her own endowment, Nykta began slowly sliding her hand up it, twisting and tightening her grip as she went, reveling in every inch of thick, surprisingly warm horsecock. Her ears twitched at distant footsteps. Her cock twitched in her hand.

She rubbed her free hand around her cock’s flat tip, coaxing the precum from her shaft. She licked her lips as she felt it beading against her hand; once it started, it never stopped. Using both hands, she rubbed the slick fluid onto her dick from the top down. She was slow and careful, making sure not to miss any part of it. Once she reached the base, she gently probed her fingers past the ring of her sheath. Her breath shuddered as she teased the sensitive skin beneath it. Slowly, carefully, she slid one pre-slick hand under the massive nuts that were resting over most of her thighs. She arched her back slightly as her fingers ran across her clit, then shifted herself to get her hand a little more room. As her fingers played along her slit, her cock twitched again, bouncing its head into the side of one boob. Nykta started panting as she grabbed her cock by the medial ring and pulled it flush against her stomach. The ropes that passed for her underclothes kept her E-cup breasts held up and together; sliding her cock between the warm, pliant flesh felt like sliding it into a perfectly eager mouth. She smiled at her flared head poking up from between her tits, and briefly wondered why she didn’t seem to give titwanks any more. Before she had her cock, her boobs were easily her favorite feature.

Pre continued to pour from her dick, pooling slightly against her chest. Still teasing her pussy with one hand, she used the other to spread her lube over and between her breasts until they glistened. As she was admiring her handiwork, she noticed that her balls had swollen another inch or two since she’d been sitting here. No more wasting time, she thought.

She started by gently but firmly rubbing her clit, only occasionally dipping her fingers down to tease the entrance to her cunt. Her other hand started working the lower part of her shaft, squeezing and twisting all the way from her sheath to the very last inch she could reach without disrupting her boobs. She started arching her spine forwards, using the flexibility afforded by her kaithrit DNA to slide her tits up and down around her cock. The sensitive shaft felt every quake and shift in the slick, pillowy mounds surrounding them, setting off sparks of pleasure in Nykta’s vision. She could feel her balls actively swelling now, responding to her arousal as well as their own agenda, but she also felt that familiar tightness at the base of her cock, signalling that she was almost at her limit. Her hands sped up, causing her tits to bounce slightly more around her cock. In the back of her mind, she could hear what sounded like shocked voices and maybe a camera or two. Her only thought was that she hoped they found this as hot as she did. She finally threw her head down, eagerly swallowing the first inch or two of her cock that cleared her tits. She gave one powerful suck, and that proved to be the last straw.

Time slowed down as Nykta’s orgasm began. Her pussy spasmed, blasting a stream of clear cum at the underside of her nuts, which started frantically churning in response, pumping their seed through the sixteen inches of meat Nykta had buried between her tits. She felt the first jet rising through her dick, giving her enough time to consider whether to move her mouth or not. Her lust-addled mind wouldn’t let her consider another cum cascade to be a bad thing, strictly speaking, but it would make it much harder to get back to her ship. She pulled her head away, throwing it back less than a second before the first pump of cum launched from her tip. It flew into the air, and seemed to hang there for a moment as the second blast left her dick even harder. Her eyes closed and her mouth opened, but both seemed to do so of their own accord. Stars burst in her eyelids as her mouth let out a high-pitched cry, more like a wail than a moan. The third jet came, and the first touched down, splattering on her chest, chin, and tails. Nykta’s hands had sped up without her telling them to, frantically working her clit and wringing her cock for all it had. Wave after wave of cum blasted from between Nykta’s tits, coating her in her own spunk as evenly as if it had been pointed straight at her. The only time her noises were interrupted was when some would splash into her mouth, and she’d swallow on reflex before continuing to voice her absolute bliss. Her balls clenched again and again, forcing every drop of its reserves out of her over the course of minutes. Even her cunt ran dry, still desperately clenching as it ran out of material to squirt.

Nykta slowly realized her orgasm was over after the fact. Her hands had stopped working herself, that was the first hint. She dragged her hand up from her clit to feel her balls. They’d returned to their normal size, which was still a little wider than her hand. Her flaccid and cum-stained cock slowly sheathed itself as she let go of it, most of the cum scraping off at her sheath. She tried to stand up, but her knees wouldn’t move. She tried to look around, but her eyes wouldn’t open. She tried to push herself up, but her arms were too heavy. Even her tails couldn’t give more than a contented twitch at the tip. No big deal, she thought. She’d just rest here for a minute, and then head home. No problem.

Her last thought before losing consciousness was “I should really start giving titwanks again.”

 

[theGreatCatsby]

PART TWO: DISCOVERY
Same Steele, same deal. This one’s a kink I’ve had for a while, just never really explored it adequately. Notable in its absence from the fengames, somewhat, but I can’t say I’m surprised. Not a lot of people go in for omorashi, or pee kinks in general. Behold, the final relinquishing of my dignity as I reveal a character created specifically to piss.
I wasn't intending this, but the actual porn starts in the next part. Shouldn't be more than a day or two.


Nykta woke up staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. Her senses sharpened, and she immediately sat up to survey the room. It was clearly a bedroom for one; one wardrobe, one side table, a strangely round bed that still wouldn’t be fit for multiple people to sleep in. She glanced at the window to her side, and was quite surprised to find three dildos lined up on the sill, arranged from the smallest (which looked modeled off a zil) to the twelve-inch black rubber laquine dong towering above her head. Nykta cocked an eyebrow at the curiously artistic display. She herself had been neatly tucked into bed under what looked to be very nice covers, and had been put in a lovely floral-print nightshirt. She noted first that the shirt had been made for someone with a similar bust to hers, and secondly that her outfit--such as it was-- was neatly displayed on a hanger across the room. The armor had been washed, and the ropes that usually made up her shibari underwear had been bundled neatly by her boots and backpack. So wherever she was, it probably wasn’t hostile.

Nykta’s eyes finally rested, with some suspicion, at the large lump straining the otherwise neat bed dressing. She pulled aside the covers, and was met with the sight of her entirely bare lower half, her crotch and thighs neatly covered by her prodigiously swollen balls. Again. Shit. She heaved a sigh almost as heavy as her nuts, wondering if maybe this treatment wasn’t worth the trouble without the kui-tan libido to match it.

The door opened, and Nykta jumped. On reflex, she yanked the sheets back over herself, but the force caused them to slide over her and fall to the other side. She took a deep, shuddering breath as the sensation pulsed through her lower body. The feeling was pleasant enough to distract her from trying to cover herself.

“Good morning!” A tall feline woman had entered the room and promptly shut the door behind her. She was carrying a tray with a glass of water, a glass of juice, and a waffle immaculately topped with cut strawberries and whipped cream. “I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Nykta nodded at the woman, scanning every aspect of her appearance for potential information. Her fur was grey and spotted, with a white underbelly clear around her neck. She was powerfully built, with a pastel tank top and high-low skirt neatly showing off the muscles on her legs and arms. A long tail swished in the back of the skirt, the tip cheerfully curling up behind the hem. Nykta noted that her F-cup breasts appeared raised and perky, despite the apparent lack of a bra. Nykta’s mercenary training said this woman was probably Milodan, and extremely strong. Her Kaithrit instincts read that her tail was displaying the same friendliness as her smile. Her stomach noticed that the waffle she was holding looked profoundly tasty, and that it was profoundly empty. Her mercenary training was overruled.

The woman set down the tray on her nightstand, and sat herself on an unoccupied edge of the circular bed. As Nykta set into the waffle, she chuckled.

“You seem fairly normal,” she said. “When I found you like that, I was worried about what might have happened. Although, seeing those…” She nodded her head towards Nykta’s testicles. Nykta blushed slightly, and paused between bites to look sheepish. She wasn’t entirely sure why. “Well, I had my suspicions when they started to swell on the way home, but I think I have the whole picture now.” The woman adjusted her posture to sit a little straighter, and rested one hand in her lap. The other she extended to Nykta for a handshake. “My name is Kiraali,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you, Nykta Steele.” Nykta paused, then swallowed her mouthful of strawberry.

“Most people don’t recognize me until I tell them my name,” Nykta said. “How do you--”

“I read the news,” Kiraali smiled. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but you’ve aided quite a few scientific breakthroughs in the past few months. And ended up on a few porn sites, but who hasn’t these days.” She shrugged, then shifted again, this time resting both hands in her lap. “I’m an evolutionary biologist, you see. I study how the development of sapient species is affected by culture and communication.” Her eyes sparkled as she turned to face Nykta, hiking one leg up onto the bed. Nykta glanced at the eyeful of white cotton panty Kiraali’s new pose presented for only a brief moment before taking another mouthful of waffle. “See, most people think that in this age of omnipresent technology, we adapt our environment to suit ourselves. And that’s true! But it’s also true that we adapt ourselves to suit our environment! Take my people, the Milodans, for example. A few centuries of UGF treatment isn’t that long, evolutionarily speaking, but even in that time, those of us who live away from Uveto have changed slightly!” She held up one of her hands, flexing her long fingers. “Our hands have gotten a little bit longer and more dextrous, and our claws have--” She abruptly stopped, her face flashing a pained expression for a moment before she turned and sat herself back on the edge of the bed, legs tightly together and hands firmly buried in her lap. “Well, it’s not very interesting to most people.” She stood up abruptly, her bright smile doing its best to hide a sense of urgency behind it. “I just remembered I have to go feed my cats. If you need to take care of your, ah… yourself, you can use the toys on the window! Bathroom’s through there.” She pointed to the other door as she walked out of the room, her hips swaying dramatically with every step. Nykta ate the last few bites of waffle in thoughtful silence. Something was definitely wrong with Kiraali, but she couldn’t quite place it. She made a mean waffle, though.

After finishing her breakfast, Nykta tried standing up. It took some doing, but she finally got to her feet, with her sack resting on the edge of the bed. It wasn’t as big as it had been yesterday, but it was close. The cascade seemed to have died down, but her libido had yet to catch up. Remembering the sway of Kiraali’s hips definitely helped, as did thinking about the curve of her breasts. All that shifting around, that sudden stop… Could she have had a vibrator in? Unlikely, Nykta thought, she would’ve heard it. Maybe just a dildo? Anyone who had three to share with a stranger almost certainly had more. Nykta shook her head and resolved to leave. She should be able to get back to her ship without too much trouble, and regardless of what this woman’s deal was, she didn’t want to inflict one of her loads on anyone else’s plumbing.

Nykta slid back into her armor, choosing to slip her ropes into her backpack rather than re-tie them. She picked up the breakfast tray and carried it out of the bedroom, where she was met with a tastefully rustic living room with an adjoined kitchen, and a small cat meowing at her very insistently. Kiraali was sitting at the kitchen table, and looked up from her book at the sound of her incensed pet.

“Oh, you’re leaving?” Kiraali asked. “You’re not going to… You know?” She glanced down towards Nykta’s free-hanging balls. Nykta shrugged and set the tray by the sink.

“They’re not as much of a problem as they look,” Nykta lied. Her legs jostled them with every step, and each wonderful ripple across their surface brought her that much closer to inconvenient erection territory. Kiraali opened her mouth to say something, but stopped abruptly, shifting herself to sit on one foot. Nykta’s frowned slightly. “Hey, is… Are you okay?” she asked. Kiraali cocked her head to one side..

“I’m fine. Why would…” Kiraali trailed off, but after a moment, her ears perked up in comprehension. “Oh! Yes, I’m fine, I just have to pee.”

“Well I’m done in there, so go ahead.” Nykta shrugged. Kiraali’s ears flattened in embarrassment.

“Well, I…” she took a deep breath. She squirmed, but Nykta was unsure if it was because of her gaze or Kiraali’s bladder. “I don’t want to.” Nykta blinked twice. Kiraali started again before she could think of a response. “I really like holding it for as long as I can. Something about the feeling, combined with the knowledge of what I’m doing? I don’t really know what it is, but it gets me so worked up I can’t help myself! It doesn’t normally get this far, but I’d already started when I found you, and I told myself that I wasn’t gonna go until you’d woken up, as a challenge, you know? But then you slept for longer than I thought, and you look even hotter in person, and now I’m so horny that I can’t tell if I’m grabbing myself to hold it in or jill off and what I really--” She cut herself off. Her ears were flat, but not pinned back, and her tail was low and curled towards her at the tip. Nykta’s Kaithrit instincts read sincerity and embarrassment in every part of her body not focused on her bladder. “Oh hell with it. If anyone will understand, it’s you.” She looked back up at Nykta, her pleading expression so intense Nykta was sure she was about to start crying. “I want you to fuck it out of me, Nykta. I want you to rail me so hard I can’t hold it in. I’ve tried it with toys, but it’s just not the same. I’ve seen the vids of you, I know it’s kind of weird but--”

“Sure,” Nykta shrugged. Kiraali’s jaw dropped.

“Really? Just like that?” A hopeful smile spread across Kiraali’s face.

“Yeah,” Nykta said. “You’ve seen the vids of me. It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve done.”

 

[theGreatCatsby]

Let’s do this.


When Kiraali opened the front of Nykta’s armor, she pressed so hard that the retracted claws in her fingertips scratched Nykta’s skin. She ground herself against Nykta’s boner so hard, Nykta suspected she was using it as a substitute for her own hands to stem her bladder. Nykta broke the kiss just long enough to rip Kiraali’s tank top off, letting her massive tits bounce free. They were almost the size of Nykta’s balls, but they stood out from her chest like they were in an anti-grav bra. Nykta took one into her mouth, sucking and biting gently at her nipple. One hand sunk into her other tit, firmly kneading it and earning a gasp from the slightly taller woman.

“Are these modded?” Nykta asked. Her mouth moved exactly far enough to ask her question.

“Perk by Xenogen--Ngh!” Kiraali moaned as Nykta resumed sucking her tit. “Size by me.” She grinned and shoved Nykta back against the bathroom wall. “Now hurry up and strip me. I’m tired of waiting.” She yanked the shoulders of Nykta’s armor down, successfully baring all but Nykta’s legs with a single motion. Nykta’s previously-pinned pony fell forward and bounced in the air. Kiraali stepped forward, her rock-hard abs pushing against Nykta’s cock. Nykta reached her thumbs under the waistband of Kiraali’s skirt and tugged it down, letting it fall off her thighs on its own and revealing her simple cotton panties. Nykta dropped to her knees, lavishing her arms on Kiraali’s powerful thighs, and smiled at the simple garment. She looked up at Kiraali with a sarcastic grin.

“You’re trying to seduce a playgirl heiress, and you wear these?” Her fingers crept up Kiraali’s plush ass, sliding into her panties. She leaned forward and carefully gripped the front with her teeth.

“Shut up, they’re the best kind to pee in,” Kiraali said in one breath. She looked down as Nykta started sliding herself down, dragging Kiraali’s panties with her. Kiraali’s tail swished, and as soon as her panties were clear of them, her thighs clenched. “Oh fuck that’s hot,” she muttered.

Nykta stepped her legs out of her armor as she stood back up. She wrapped her arms around Kiraali and kissed her. Her tongue lolled out at the feeling of the Milodan’s nipples poking into her own breasts. Kiraali grabbed Nykta by the waist and guided her into the shower, never once breaking the kiss. Nykta moaned into her mouth as both of their legs kneaded her sensitive balls. Kiraali pressed Nykta against the glass wall of the shower, causing her throbbing cock to nestle between her own tits and Kiraali’s abs. Nykta reached between Kiraali’s legs, probing with two fingers to find that her slit was already soaking wet.

“I told you it gets me going,” Kiraali breathed into Nykta’s mouth. “I’m…” She swallowed loudly. “I’m ready, if you are.” Nykta pulled back and nodded.

“Turn around,” she said. “I’d rather you didn’t unload on me when it happens.”

“Fair enough.” Kiraali turned around and bent forward at the waist, raising her butt and presenting her snatch to Nykta. She spread her legs, both to lower her pelvis to Nykta’s level and to spread her glistening lips. Her tail swished to one side, brushing its tip against Nykta’s fuzzy sack. “You can unload anywhere you want.” Nykta grabbed a firm handful of Kiraali’s ass with one hand, and guided her pre-leaking cock head toward Kiraali’s entrance with the other. Both women grunted as Nykta pushed her flat tip against Kiraali’s lips. Nykta paused at the resistance, and gave Kiraali a look of concern.

“Are you okay?” Nykta asked. Kiraali nodded, her face screwed up in concentration.

“It’ll fit, just… one sec…” Kiraali took a deep breath, and in one motion, relaxed her pelvic floor and shoved herself back. Her cunt slid over Nykta’s cock like a silk sheet; a second later, it clenched like a vice. Nykta shuddered. A splash of something spattered on the floor below them, obscured from Nykta’s view by her balls and her partner. Kiraali grinned back at Nykta through clenched teeth. “Now how about you make me spill the rest of it?”

Nykta slowly pushed herself forward, moving inch after inch of cock into Kiraali’s gloriously tight pussy until she felt the wet and matted fur of the woman’s labia tickling her sheath. She stayed there for a second, enjoying the feelings radiating through her, before slowly pulling back. She stopped with about four of her sixteen inches still buried in Kiraali, slightly afraid of having to push all the way back in. Her next thrust was slow but steady, her hips learning to overcome the resistance of Kiraali’s tunnel. Nykta moved faster with every thrust as her body found a rhythm with itself; both Kiraali’s absurd tightness and Nykta’s heavy balls were resistant to speed, but after a few thrusts, she’d learned how much power to use to get her cock moving, and hit a sort of resonance with her scrotum. It would swing back, she would thrust forward; it would swing forward, she would pull back. Nykta could feel her own pussy drooling down her legs and the back of her scrotum, causing a squishing sound every time they hit each other. Between Kiraali’s deathgrip on her cock and the inadvertent ball massage, Nykta could feel herself getting close to orgasm.

For Kiraali’s part, she was bracing herself on the wall with one arm. Her thighs were clenched together around her other wrist, while her hand alternated between holding herself and frantically working her clit. She was moaning constantly, punctuated by the occasional “fuck” or “yeah,” but once or twice Nytka heard her moan out a “so full.” Thrust after thrust rocked through Kiraali, bouncing her tits in a similar rhythm to Nykta’s balls. When Kiraali grunted out something that sounded like “harder,” Nykta happily obliged. She hilted herself again, pressing Kiraali’s face and cleavage into the glass wall, and gave Kiraali a solid slap on the ass for good measure.

“Gah! I’m-- It’s-- Ah!-- Yes!” Kiraali suddenly curled her head down and hissed through clenched teeth. Her back arched forwards, and Nykta felt Kiraali’s pussy relax for a split second before her orgasm hit. Her walls clenched frantically around Nykta’s girth, massaging her as effectively as a machine. Seconds later, Nykta heard the floodgates break. The first few drops fell onto her balls, the warm liquid soaking into the thin fur almost instantly. It soon became a stream, jetting with suprising force from between Kiraali’s legs and splattering loudly on the ground. Kiraali was bent forward farther than any human could, moaning like an overzealous holoporn star, staring between her jugs at her stream and Nykta’s balls. As Nykta realized this, she felt them contract, and the pressure of a mounting orgasm rose through her cock. She let out a gutteral cry and thrust forward with her hips, at the same time dragging Kiraali’s back as hard as she could. Her cock speared through the spasming Milodan easily, letting her stretched labia massage Nykta’s sheath. Another splash of her lover’s stream splashed on Nykta’s balls, and in the heat of the moment, that warmth was exactly what she needed to make sure she couldn’t hold herself back.

Cum blew from Nykta’s horsecock into Kiraali’s womb. Nykta ground herself up and down against Kiraali’s ass, desperate for more friction but utterly unwilling to pull herself out of the heavenly cock milker that was Kiraali’s orgasming pussy. Jets of cum filled Kiraali one after the other. The spasming slowed, then stopped, along with her pee, but she kept constricting herself around Nykta’s shaft. Cum flowed backward around Nykta’s shaft as her orgasm continued, her balls determined to drain themselves completely. Soon, Nykta couldn’t feel Kiraali’s walls through the backwashing stream of her own jizz. She pulled herself out, but the time it took to draw back sixteen inches meant that a few more shots forced their way into Kiraali’s cunt. Her head popped free with a wet squelch, and promptly fired a rope up Kiraali’s back. Kiraali slumped to the ground, catching another spurt in her hair, then turned herself over, leaning her back against the wall and pushing her tits up and together with her hands. Nykta grabbed her cock with both hands and aimed it at Kiraali in the last second before the pleasure forced her to close her eyes. Her hands worked frantically, each one jacking off half of her length as she rode out the latter half of her orgasm.

Finally, it was over. The last few spurts of cum fell out of her cock by comparison, and Nykta opened her eyes to find Kiraali painted from the tits up, with a healthy coat sliding down the wall around her. Nykta was panting. Her balls were so light she couldn’t feel them, but her knees suddenly felt very weak. She carefully dropped herself to the floor, letting her flagging erection flop on the ground like a discarded sock. Kiraali, meanwhile, was using a combination of her hands and her tongue to clean off most of her face. Once she had the worst of it off, she gave Nykta a warm smile.

“Thank you so much, Nykta,” she said. “That was so much better than I could have imagined.” She leaned forward and gave Nykta a deep, slow kiss. Nykta returned it on autopilot, still preoccupied with post-orgasmic bliss. Kiraali grinned and stood up. “Well, let’s get this place cleaned up.” She turned on the shower, which sent a blast of lukewarm water directly onto Nykta’s back.

Nykta never quite forgave her for that.

 

[theGreatCatsby]

Alrighty, so I guess I'm the piss chick now. Cool cool, good good.

Seriously, though, that's all I've got for now. If people like it, I may do more? Or more likely I'll wallow in terrified self-loathing and be afraid to do anything like this ever again. That's on the table regardless of the response. Anyway, I hope at least someone's enjoyed themselves vigorously to this.