Dick Measuring Contest

[Ravioli]

Beat the size of my dick? Never c: ((Only if you farm sperm and press buttons for longer than like 10 minutes)


Your sexual equipment is located at your humanoid waist. Your monstrously thick shaft is 147.5 inches long and 24.6 inches across. The entirety of its glowing blue surface is covered in perspiring beads of slick moisture. It frequently shifts and moves of its own volition, the slightly oversized and mushroom-like head shifting in coloration to purplish-red whenever you become aroused. The ‘head’ of your shaft widens quite noticeably, the better to stimulate your partners.


This is the true form of goo grills. 

 

[Woider]

Not sure I would ever want to beat that (no pun intended).

 

[Mustang Flex]

That...I don't think that's a cock.

 

[Ravioli]

That...I don't think that's a cock.

I mean it's bigger than her arms that's for sure. 

 

[Mustang Flex]

It sounds more like the description of some kind of deep sea creature.

 

[JDeko]

8 foot long long dick doesn't sound fun

 

[Ravioli]

8 foot long long dick doesn't sound fun

It's made of goo, so you've got plenty of lube. Plus it's glowing! Don't you want to glow up like a lightbulb? 

 

[JDeko]

Glowing goo dick does sound pretty lovely, but that's a bit too big.

 

[Mustang Flex]

Especially if said glowing goo dick "moves of it's own volition".

 

[JDeko]

I mean if I didn't know the length, and a cute Goo-Girl offered to make me "glow like a lightbulb" I'd be naked and presenting in no time...

 

[Ravioli]

I mean if I didn't know the length, and a cute Goo-Girl offered to make me "glow like a lightbulb" I'd be naked and presenting in no time...

JDeko was later found at a hospital, a cum-bloated and lust-addled mess. Doctors say they will never understand how someone's organs can be completely rearranged in the way they were. 

 

[JDeko]

Well that killed it

 

[Ravioli]

Well that killed it

Well, I'm sorry I created a mistrust of goo girls for you. Now when a cute goo grill offers it you will refuse because of me I'm sorry :c

 

[Woider]

8 foot long long dick doesn't sound fun

I thought it was more like 12 feet, but those silly imperial measurements might be shenanigans-ing my brain.

 

[JDeko]

oh, its 12. I even fucked up [12 inches in a foot, I was thinking 16oz in a pound]

 

[Woider]

oh, its 12. I even fucked up [12 inches in a foot, I was thinking 16oz in a pound]

Incedentally, 12 *inches* is usually what I keep my donger(s). (+/- 3 inches)

 

[JDeko]

• 9 to 13 with me. usually closer to 9 or 13 because i like that number
  

 

[Woider]

• 9 to 13 with me. usually closer to 9 or 13 because i like that number
  

I like round numbers for size. Decimals drive me crazy, unless it's .5

 

[JDeko]

indeed, except my knot since that'd be a nightmare to try to get solid

 

[Woider]

indeed, except my knot since that'd be a nightmare to try to get solid

Well, I don't care too much for the numbers on that.

 

[EmperorG]

I like round numbers for size. Decimals drive me crazy, unless it's .5

Tell me about, I have two cocks at exactly 15.9 inches long and 2.9 wide. I wouldn't even mind going down an inch, just to get rid of that bloody decimal, even a .5 would work for me!

 

[Woider]

Tell me about, I have two cocks at exactly 15.9 inches long and 2.9 wide. I wouldn't even mind going down an inch, just to get rid of that bloody decimal, even a .5 would work for me!

Usually I want round numbers for length, and for width I want either round or .5


I'd recommend savescumming Bovinium until you get it lowered, then using Throbb and reload until you get something ending in the number you want. If you don't wanna use drugs, you could always get Ausar Treats, which have a chance of increasing dick size by a slight amount. (random between 0.5 and 0.9, I believe.)

 

[vortivask]

I have a great image in my head of a warrior walking around with a wheelbarrow in front of them carrying their own penis

 

[EmperorG]

I have a great image in my head of a warrior walking around with a wheelbarrow in front of them carrying their own penis

That reminds me of Marcus from CoC, one of the first NPC's added to the game, though that wheelbarrow was more for his balls than his dick.

 

[Kesil]

Pretty much! My mental image was that of this Berserk parody: http://i.imgur.com/MwF25.png

 

[JDeko]

that makes perfect sense, really

 

[EmperorG]

Pretty much! My mental image was that of this Berserk parody: http://i.imgur.com/MwF25.png

That.... thing... is so big you need a goddamn truck to transport it! It's 1.5 times his height!

 

[Kesil]

Certainly, a truck is what it's needed.

 

[Spikes]

Pretty much! My mental image was that of this Berserk parody: http://i.imgur.com/MwF25.png

Holy crap. That might even be too big for a certain enemy on Uveto. Hey can we get a ruling on that? Or maybe a ruler would be better.

 

[Woider]

Holy crap. That might even be too big for a certain enemy on Uveto. Hey can we get a ruling on that? Or maybe a ruler would be better.

My guess is 3.5 metres.