Butt TF 1st draft be gentle :P [WIP]

OnyxDrakkenblade

Well-Known Member
Jul 1, 2016
503
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This is my VERY rough draft it's not even half way done . . . but I'd rather get feedback and find out where to fix things before I dupe half of it and it all needs to be redone or something. It is NOT hypergraphic or anything because it's not actually a sex scene it's a TF


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yvfYaYeaHFrqHbgWmKKqyvRXeoJE_5HTtU2lE5vRf5s/edit?usp=sharing


GDoc is now commentable and the proper link is now the only link.


Update: I'm finally kind of traipsing around the edges of this again and trying to get myself back into finishing it. I'm actually really close but I have a good couple of hours worth of editing and finalizing along with probably some fork combination and flow work. But I did indeed set myself up to burn out with it. >.> I didn't follow my 7th grade teacher's advice, K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid). Hopefully I can have this finished and ready for submission by the end of the weekend. YAY!
 
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Etis

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Creator
Aug 26, 2015
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Good. Now format that wall of text. It is a barely readable mess.
 

OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
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First, Thank you |\/|.


Second, Which one of those is the right link?


Third ToC I'll work on a Table of Content (God I hate all these abreviations on the nets) I don't know how to set up a ToC in GDocs yet but I will give me some time.


Fourthly, Formatting . . . oh my, I do NOT know where to begin with this one. I'm not sure what you're pointing at when you speak of formatting. Are you talking about HOW you make a call for "some piece of code goes here" like the parser tags if there isn't a parser tag for it? I know what formatting is in general and I catch on quick once I actually know what were talking about.


Fifthly, isn't that why bimbo/brute is there? it's there to  . . . ahem reward the player for their wise choices in life.


Finally, I do not feel like I've screwed it up. My parents were advertising agents and graphic artists. BELIEVE me I know constructive criticism when I see it. I can see that there's a LOT of room for condensation and better logical flow, I need to find out the priorities of it and how I can make it all work in a more flowing way like your writings appear to be.


P.S.: I'm sorry I dropped this in without bending it to the TiTs view first. I really wanted to see if I would actually write it meaningfully. So I just pulled up Wordpad and went to town writing and formatting in whatever ways seemed best with the parser tags and my experience to guide me. I have confirmed that I am in fact interested enough to go to the next stage. so I may or may not make many changes for a bit as I learn to used GDocs.
 
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Etis

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Creator
Aug 26, 2015
2,500
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Fourthly, Formatting . . . oh my, I do NOT know where to begin with this one. I'm not sure what you're pointing at when you speak of formatting. Are you talking about HOW you make a call for "some piece of code goes here" like the parser tags if there isn't a parser tag for it? I know what formatting is in general and I catch on quick once I actually know what were talking about.





 






 







 

Wall of text. Split it into paragraphs. Also, indentation. And tags. There are no such parser tags as

Code:
[/I][I]
 
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OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
503
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those are commands to italicize and unitalicize not parser calls. There's no or parser tags either but when you make a TF you're supposed to make a sentence that clearly defines the changes that have occurred and format it in bold. You're also supposed to put ALL speech into italics and quotes and unitalicize in order to add stress. At least that's according the the voluminous ideas presented in "How not to make Gedan hate you". If I am in error I would appreciate if someone could explain how.
 
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OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
503
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So you're telling me that I'm using the wrong brackets and that I should switch to <b> and <i> and such instead? I wish you'd simply said so instead of making me run around to dig through a pile of stuff to understand what you mean. There is NO way that you saying " is not a parser call" is going to make it clear to me what you mean, and I believe that you should be made aware that it was unclear from the begining, and just to be clear the "[" and "]" brackets are NOT just a parser call enclosure they are used in MANY commands in many programing languages.
 
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OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
503
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If you highlight any bit of text, you should be able to see its text style listed just to the left of the font drop-down menu. For most unformatted text it will just say "Normal text". If you click that style drop-down menu, you'll get a list of all the various paragraph styles you can apply. You can also use the shortcut CTRL+ ALT + (0-6) to quickly apply paragraph styles to selected text. CTRL + ALT + 0 is normal text formatting, while 1-6 are Heading 1-6 respectively. 

I had figured most of this out already but it's good to have here for completions sake. Having figured this out makes the TOC thing a lot easier.


The rest of that is gold. Thanks :D


Now I need to figure out how when to do things like Page Breaks or the next button or that kind of thing. I don't know how long my stuff really is at the moment compared to something in the game already. I imagine it's VERBOSE because that's how I tend to be, and I'd like to get a sense of how many words turn into how much output on the screen in game.
 

OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
503
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I hope you're right because it feels like I've flooded the game with text already :p The last thing I want is to give the pc a wall of text when they use a TF >.<


I love nonesuch's writing and the formatting is hard for me to follow but I can see how it would be easier to follow from an overview point >.> choices . . . makes me want to sigh exasperatedly :p
 

Zavos

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May 7, 2016
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Its definetly looking a lot better then it did a few days ago.  Its getting to the point where its good for going into the game.  You're getting there, maybe you should go through a few scenarios, copy/paste the text into a word doc and gauge how much text is provided and how smooth it flows.


If possible, i'l love it if you could write in an alteration for the butslut perk that disables the periodic increases to ass size.  Probably about a 50/50 chance it might make it in if it was well written, since it would probably cause complications code wise. 
 

OnyxDrakkenblade

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Jul 1, 2016
503
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Yeah it's growing slowly, but I haven't even finished the Decreasing size side and I'm thinking of doing a bit of streamlining in format so that it can flow better. As far as the buttslut thing goes. I'm not a big fan of finding ways to remove a negative effect that a character willingly took on without a HEFTY amount of work and story.


I would MUCH rather a PC have to buy this over and over in order to "manage" their buttslut perk than write in some kind of "rescue" from damnation kind of thing. I currently have the honeypot perk on my main so I do in fact know how difficult managing such things can be. But I CHOSE that route.
 

OnyxDrakkenblade

Well-Known Member
Jul 1, 2016
503
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@Savin @Gedan Is this about ready to go?


@Wsan@Couch@Nonesuch@Etis@Nik_van_Rijn and anyone else with submission experience: I would LOVE your input at this stage.


Update: I've done a bit of remodeling and fixing upping. I think it's almost done I could use some feedback please. Help me see if I have it as far along as I think it is. I'd say it's about . . . 90-95% done if not ready for submission. I'm don't need it perfect I have little doubt that it'll get revamped in the process before it gets into the game, if it does. Incidentally I may have created one of the longest basic TF pages :p By basic I mean simple that effects only one anatomical aspect.


P.S.: I personally think this is probably one of the awesomest, bestest places I could hit a 200 posts milestone :p
 
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