Blossom your inner Demon (TG story, F/F Herm/Herm) Criticism welcome

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction & Creative Writing' started by cool.alexia, Oct 5, 2017.

  1. cool.alexia

    cool.alexia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    I thought about this too much in the last few days. I kinda need it out of my system so I began writing it down. It's about transgender (M to F), about transformation, about Sex, about relationships and also about demons. There are chapters where no kink happens, they will be marked.

    It was mainly for me. It is fiction of course, but every fiction as a bit of truth behind it. The story is kinda personal, but the way it is written isn't. If you like or dislike something I would love a response.

    E: I am not a native English speaker, so if you see mangled sentences... Sorry...

    Alexander was not the guy that brought home girls for coffee. Other twenty three year olds go out searching to score every weekend. He on the other hand, he would say hi to a stranger if she seemed to look for company, because how else would you stop being single. But he never cared about getting a girl to bed. If you ‘got dibs’ on this hot girl, or got that hot girl, what do you get? Bragging rights. And maybe gonorrhoea if you are stupid. No, bragging and stupidity correlate, sooner or later they would catch gonorrhoea. What was the infection rate? He shook the thought out of his head and he unlocked his apartment door. This was not about bragging. She was special.

    SMACK!

    He rubbed his arse as Nina sashayed into his apartment. She was beautiful. Her auburn hair, green eyes and red dress that only the devil herself would wear made her the most hit on girl of the bar. Now she was placing her stilettos next to his sneakers. Every guy got turned away, except for him.

    Alex took a deep breath: “So yeah, this is my place. Shall I give you the tour?”

    She tilted her head and gave him a warm smile: “Definitely!”


    He turned right and lit up the first room. His office. One of the few rooms fully furnished already. Because of his work, being an engineer, he sometimes works from home. Next he showed the bathroom. Newly renovated before he moved in, sporting a shower and a bathtub for two.

    Nina wowed and grinned.

    “What?”

    “Nothing” she replied and grinned some more.

    “OK, uh, let me show you the kitchen then.”


    The kitchen was also brand new, with a modern cooking isle that separated the kitchen and the living room. Alexander turned on the kitchen lights and left the living room lurking in the gloom. Hopefully Nina would not notice the mess of cardboard boxes.

    “Nice” said the beauty and let her hand glide over the stone counter. She smiled as she saw the new coffee machine. “You like to cook, don't you?”

    “Yeah, I do. Although I don't get to cook as often as I’d like.”

    She turned to face him: “Why not?”

    Scratching his neck he replied: “Well, I am often busy working… and when you come home late, there just isn't enough time…” He looked into her sparkling emerald eyes. “But on weekends I do.“ He swallowed. “If you… I invite you to some hand made breakfast in the morning.”

    She smiled. “You are a nice guy, Alex.”

    “Uh, thanks.”

    Her hair was flowing over her shoulder, she looked at him with a fiery smile and licked her lips.

    Did she… Was she… He had to take charge. She had walked with him, she had asked him for a coffee, all he had to do was to take the last step. So he did. He took her hands, her hair was right under his nose, lowered his head, and kissed. Her arms slung around him, and they kissed. He lifted her up, and they kissed.


    Nina was the first girl he brought to his new apartment. Moving three months ago, he just didn't come around to decide on all his furniture. Without furniture, there is no point to unpacking, which left the living room and especially the bedroom cluttered for weeks. But Nina didn't seem to care as her red dress dropped. She didn't seem to care as Alex unclipped her bra. And he really didn't care as she threw away his shirt and pushed him on his back. He let his hands glide through her soft hair to her shoulders, over her breasts, and down her lithe body. Soon her underwear was gone too. She wore nothing but a silver necklace. Only his jeans were left. Nina sat above, giving him her fiery smile. She was truly beautiful. His hands traveled back up over her flat stomach, up to her breasts. Played with her stiff nipples, let his fingers trace her perfect teardrops shape, and gently pressed them together.


    Nina had her eyes closed and was biting her lips. Then, she grabbed his hands and violently pushed them over his head. She kept them in place. Alex did not resist and closed his eyes. He got kissed on his lips. Then his cheeks. Then his neck. His collarbone. He felt Nina kissing her way lower and lower. His muscular chest, his stomach, his belly button. Inch after inch, she kissed her way closer to his jeans. She opened them up, one button at a time. Slowly, she was pulling down his trousers, revealing his shaved crotch and then his cock. Alex smiled and just focused on her kissing his head. Suddenly his trousers flew off together with his boxers. Surprised, Alex looked down just to see Nina giving him her most burning smile.


    “Na ah ah”, she said, “You just lay back and relax for this round.

    Nina crawled up to him, pushed his arms back over his head and kissed him deeply. Alex closed his eyes, let her take the lead, let her push her tongue inside and relaxed. Wait, something was pushing against his crotch. He wanted to shift his hips. He wanted to pull down his arms, but they felt too heavy. He could not move. Opening his eyes, he saw the devil sitting on him. Her skin was fiery red, horns crowned her head. His eyes wandered down the temptress’ body. The silver necklace was gone, her areola changed to a burgundy color, a spaded tail cut the air behind her. And between her legs, above her feminine sex, bobbed a big red cock. Nina leered down at him. Her eyes were the same sparkling emerald.

    “Don't be scared, sugar.” she said. “I am not going to do anything with ‘it’. Unless you want me to.”

    She gave him a kiss, her tongue burned his insides like hot metal. It was too hot, he couldn't get enough. His eyes snapped open again.

    “I know this is confusing for you. You know my secret, I am a demon.” Her grin widened. “But I am not the only one. You are a demon too, you just don't know it. Yet.”. She leaned forward and whispered into his ears. “Relax. Your transformation doesn't hurt at all. And when it is over, you’ll have so much fun. I promise. My Incubus.”


    Her hands burned their way across his skin, and grabbed his dick. The head got kissed. Then, he felt his head sinking in inch after inch, deeper and deeper. Each heartbeat pumped more blood, swelling him up and becoming incredibly sensitive. Then she started moving.

    Alex didn't realise he had his eyes closed the whole time. He couldn't move. He just breathed, hrart pounding as his swollen head got dragged up and down inside her. His back slightly arched, he moaned as the demon switched pace and rocked around his cock. She pressed harder against his pole. With each second, he came closer to the edge. Closer. Closer. Closer. Almost. And then…


    Something snapped. Pain. His ears rang. Pain. He choked, could not breathe in or out Pain. He found himself vomiting. BREATHE. He pressed some air past his throat. From far away he heard Nina talking. Blinking, he was looking into a plastic bag with his vomit. Nina came into focus. She was human, said something about moving. His ears kept ringing. He was holding a paper bag. His insides twisted. Something snapped.


    Alex gasped, sucked fresh air into his lungs. He was looking into the dark city out of a cab. He heard the raindrops hitting the car, he heard the wipers zooming across the glass, he heard the lazy whining of the engine. The ringing faded. He breathed. His toes were sporting flip-flops. He wore his baggy trousers and his jacket, without shirt or underwear.

    “Alex?”

    He swirled around and found Nina in the passenger seat next to him.

    “Oh God, how do you feel?”

    “Better?”

    “OK, just hold tight, we are at the hospital any second now.”

    Alexander took a breath. He felt… “I think I’m fine.”

    “Alex, you don't have to be a hero about it.”

    “No, I feel fine, really. There is no need for a hospital.”

    Nina was about to say something, as a “SIR” thundered through the cab. Both of them were silenced. “I have been driving cabs for ten years. There are few things that shock me nowadays. You did. I won't be putting you nowhere but the hospital.”


    A short, silent moment afterwards they arrived at the mercy hospital. Nina payed the cab and they entered the emergency wing. A nurse led them past the usual waiting rooms, ordered Alexander to sit on the bed, and left them waiting. Nina took a chair in the corner, inspecting the floor tiles in detail. Alex took a breath, his mind wandered back a few minutes. Nina was a demon. No way. It was a hallucination for sure. God, he hallucinated. Fear gripped him. Maybe he was very sick.


    BAM!

    The doctor slammed the door open and Alex almost jumped out bed.

    “Good morning, I am doctor Imanol Benedict, or Doctor Ben for short.” The doctor looked like the male star of a medical TV show. Young, fit, and a lot of dark hair on his skull. He shook Alex’s hand and said: “I was informed you had complications during your first transformation, is that correct?”

    Alex just blinked

    “Yes” came a meager voice from the chair.

    “Alright” said the doctor. “And you were the Succubus which he had intercourse?”

    Nina nodded, Alex blinked again. Succubus? Transformation? Was this real?

    The doctor asked Nina: “Did he transform partially, or did nothing happen?”

    “Nothing, I think. I didn't see every part of him,maybe...”

    The doctor laughed: “That's enough, thank you. What's your name?”

    Nina introduced herself and the cheerful doctor turned to Alex: “OK so you didn't transform. Can you tell me what happened right after your orgasm?”

    Alex blinked. “Uh…“ everything felt surreal. “I think… it was hard to breathe.”

    Doctor Ben nodded.

    “And I like, hurt my back. I had to throw up… but then I woke up in the cab and everything felt fine again”

    Doctor Ben nodded, and said he would be inspecting him. He did the usual stuff, checked his heart rate, blood pressure, looked at his tongue, but soon he turned to unusual methods like knocking at his leg. Soon, the doctor stood next to him and rubbed his chin. “Hm… everything is normal for an Incubus your age… Unless…”. The doctor grabbed his hand, pulled back his jacket and brushed his arm.

    Alex watched as some hair flew on the white bed.

    “Aha!” said Ben. “There we have it. You are not an Incubus, you are a Succubus!”


    What? He looked to Nina who sat there with her mouth open. Blinking again, Alex said it out loud: “What?”

    Doctor Ben was cheerful: “It is rare. No, demons are rare. It is very rare to see a demon born in the body of the opposite gender. In fact, you are my first one. When they have intercourse with a normal demon, they first change to their true gender.” The doctor scribbled something on his notepad and explained: “It is probably not a big shock for you, people in your shoes often feel in the wrong body from an early age on. I’m glad to tell you in the next two to three weeks, you will transition into your female self. I write you sick for three weeks and prepare the standard documents. You should be legally female in three to four weeks.” Dumbfounded, Alex let it sink in. Ben continued to scribble on his notepad and said: “Your transition will come in episodes every four to eight hours. If nothing happens for more than twelve hours before the transition is complete, come see me. The episodes can sometimes be painful, I prescribe you some painkillers just in case.” He handed over a scribbled piece of paper. “After your transition, the next time you have intercourse with a demon, you should transform normally.”


    Normally


    The handsome doctor put down his notepad and looked into Alex’s eyes: “I don't know how much Nina has told you, just in case you hear it from me too: Demons are rare. Most people don't know we exist. Those who do, don't like us. To keep you and others save, don't tell anybody you are a demon, unless you know they are one too. Don't make pictures of your true form, and don't make pictures during your transition. Do you understand?”


    Alex nodded. He was lead to the door and shook doctor Ben’s hand. He was walked down the corridor in silence until he was standing outside. It felt like a dream.

    “Do you feel like you are in the wrong body?” Nina had followed him and stood in her crumpled red dress looking up to him. Her hands were holding her small handbag.

    “None of your business” snapped Alex and walked towards a cab.

    “Alex, I am so sorry, I just want to talk about what happened.”

    “Well, I don't” and slammed the cab door shut.
     
    #1 cool.alexia, Oct 5, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
    Vergil1989 likes this.
  2. cool.alexia

    cool.alexia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    Wow, I haven't written in here for over a year. For the one person in the world who may be interested, I had quite a bit of this story written. But in typical me, I read through it and DELETED IT ALL BECAUSE IT SUCKS, I SUCK AND IT HAS NO RIGHT TO EXIST!

    This is a fault in my personality, because nothing I ever do is ever good enough. And, since we are already in the personal territory, the one of the reasons why I had worked myself into a proper clinical depression. The story I began here doesn't exist anymore. But these ideas I had never left me during the year. A few months ago, I began to write again. Maybe it's because I am recovering from the depression, or maybe it's self-delusion, but I feel more comfortable with the results. I rewrote chapter 0, and I put two more chapters in here.

    No Sex
    Ten o’clock AM Saturday said his phone. He had not slept. He had been working out, let his anger ebb. Stepping out of the shower, he rubbed himself dry, ignored the dropping body hair and walked to his bedroom. He felt fresh again. It stank horribly. He had ignored last night, now he couldn't anymore. Holding his nose, he stepped beside his bed. Thankfully he had thrown up in an H&M bag. It looked like a new pair of socks was caught in the crossfire. He threw everything in the trash and walked back to the cardboard boxes in the bedroom. He was using them as his laundry bags until he had decided on a wardrobe. He put on baggy trousers and an old t-shirt. Now like any Saturday he cleaned his apartment.

    He rubbed the kitchen clean, vacuumed every room, especially the bathroom and brought down the trash. He took the lift back up to the fifth floor and stepped into his apartment. What now? Thoughts lurked in the back of his head, he felt them creeping out of the darkness.

    Now or never, he had to decide on a wardrobe. Sitting at his computer, he clicked through every website. What doors does he want? With mirrors, or just glass, or wood? Or no doors at all? Does he want a trouser rack? More drawers? He doesn't like a black wardrobe, but grey did not work that well for him either. What kind of wardrobe fits him? What kind of man is he?

    Is he a man?

    Shaking his head, he leaned back in his chair. He was a man. He liked motorcycles, meat and mustard. He was an engineer for crying out loud. THE male dominated profession. Everything he did in his life shouted male.

    Everything people knew about him.

    An image popped up in his mind. How he tried on women's clothes as teenager. The dreams, the mirror images, the stuffed bras.
    No. He had decided on Alexander. Wide shoulders, muscular, semi good looking and absolutely into women. He had decided, and it was the best choice.

    The best?

    The least bad. What was Alex supposed to do? Dress like a girl, ignoring the fact that she was not fooling anybody? Taking up girly hobbies, even though she enjoyed the ones she had? And what about the few friends that kept her from falling into the abyss, would they have accepted Alexandra? They would not have rejected her outright, yes. But it was, and still is, a fucking men’s club. What the fuck was Alex supposed to do?!

    Teardrops fell on paper. The morning mail was waiting on his desk.

    He had decided. He would never be completely happy, but he gets an almost normal life on the outside. He would face a dark world, but he would not face it alone. And so he did until now.

    Something snapped. His ears rang. He choked. His face melted. His throat rattled as he finally caught air. He took another breath. He rubbed his burning face and watched as his stubbles dropped on the envelopes. This was really happening. He was changing into a girl.

    He checked his phone. The last message from his friends was more than three weeks old. He pulled his feet on the chair and slung his arms around them. More tears dropped on the papers.

    He didn't even remember bringing in the mail. But there it was under his keyboard. On top of the pile laid an unmarked envelope. Opening it up, it contained a single piece of paper with curly handwriting: “If you need somebody to listen.”

    “Nina”

    A phone number was written below. He sat there for a few minutes, wiping the tears off his face. Then, he typed in the phone number and began to write. First Nina just wrote back short questions. Since when had he felt that way, what it feels like. Then the questions became longer: If Alex had considered going down ‘the route’. He did. It was the first time he told anybody he tried on women clothes. He told how he had pretended to be a girl on the internet. He told the story of when Alexandra was thirteen or fourteen years old, she met a boy her age in a chatroom. The boy had a webcam, she did not. She thought he looked… nice? To this day Alex was not sure if it had been just hormones, or if she had had a crush.

    It was weird writing about her inner secrets. Her brain dug up old news about government surveillance efforts. She shuddered. Her worst fears were already sent out, so if anybody is listening, it could not get worse: “I am going to change into a woman, right? A demon woman.”
    Nina wrote back: “Yes. Are you more scared of the demon, or the woman part?”
    “The woman part. I know others would murder for the chance I got. But what if I hate being a woman as much as being a man? I may not like being male, but everything I like couldn’t be more male.” Tears began flowing again. “It’s as if the whole world is telling me ‘no, you are absolutely male’. What if they are right?”

    There was a pause. Alex could watch Nina’s status change from ‘writing’ to ‘online’ and back to ‘writing’. Then the answer appeared on the screen: “The world is wrong”

    Alex smiled a little. Message after message popped up: “The world does not like contradictions. But humans are a beautiful, complicated cacophony of contradictions. Being happy is also recognising your own flaws and fears and wearing them on your sleeves. Being a woman does not mean you like Barbie and dress pink. You can be as fashion forward or fashion illiterate as you wish. You can only dress in jeans, only dress in skirts or anything in between. It is your choice. Don’t be afraid.”

    Don’t be afraid. Easier said than done.

    Nina continued: “I am sorry I put you in this position. I cannot even begin to fathom how scary the next days must seem. I understand if you don’t want me in your life. But, if you want me to, I would help you wherever I can. You may have to walk this way yourself, but you don’t have to walk it alone. If you need help in anything, no matter what it is, just say a word. If you just need somebody to talk to, I can be that somebody.”




    Nudity, no sex
    Alexander was fidgeting with his phone. 7.03 PM. Saturday. Nina was supposed to be here a minute ago. He dressed up in Jeans and fished out one of his nice T-Shirts. Why exactly? This wasn’t a date. He cleared his sore throat. His last transformation episode left him hoarse like a chainsmoker on a rainy day.

    The doorbell shouted, Alex opened up.
    “Hi...”
    “Hi… Alex”, replied Nina. She stood in front of him, then hugged him. He smelled her perfume again. They released each other. Nina looked for a coat stand, but couldn't find one. She decided hanging it over a cardboard box. She wore a pair of light blue jeans, a burgundy knit sweater and a nervous smile.
    Putting her hands in her pockets she began: “…I just wanted to say… I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen.”
    “Uh…” croaked Alex. He cleared his throat to no avail. “You didn’t know, right? It wasn’t your fault.”
    “Thank you” Nina still looked at her feet: “But it is. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is not even me that faces the consequences.” Her emerald eyes looked up at him. “It is you. I am sorry.”
    Alex smiled, stretched out his hand: “Apology accepted”

    They moved to the kitchen. He could finally brew the coffee he offered ages ago. Putting one cup in front of Nina, he sat down across her.
    Nina sipped. “Sooo… how do you feel?”
    “Unreal” he replied staring at the creamy top of his cup. “One time I dreamed I was waking up. I checked that I am definitely awake and not dreaming anymore. Then I woke up. It’s like that. I think I am awake, but I feel like I am dreaming.”
    “Is it a nightmare?”
    He took a sip looked up at her: “I dunno”.
    “Are you flirting with me? You are, aren't you?”
    “...can you resist this sexy voice of mine?”, he wheezed.
    They looked each other and laughed. Their voices refracted from the empty walls.
    Alex relaxed, took another sip and continued: “Seriously though, at first it was a nightmare. I saw what I could lose. Like my friends back home. Or my family. Especially my family. In the last few hours I began to see what I could gain.”
    “Which is?”
    “Getting comfortable with my mirror image.”, said Alex.
    Nina took a sip. She slowly put down the cup and began: “Can I tell you something? When you described me how you weren't sure about your female side, I wanted to jump through the internet and tell you about butch and femme. Have you heard of it?”
    “Oh, is that the thing in lesbian relationships where one partner is more manly, and the other more womanly?”
    Nina winced as if someone had stepped on her toe: “No, it's not. It's about freedom. It's about defining what female is to you. If it is walking around in stilettos or sweatpants, you decide. That's what it is about. By accident it shows lesbians aren't free from prejudice. No, a femme does not need a butch for a partner. She can, but that depends on what she likes. Once I was hit on by a butch. I said I am not interested and pointed out my femme girlfriend was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME, the stupid cow just said: ‘Then you haven't met the right butch yet’. Uuugh!”, she said, burying her face in her hands. “I’m sorry. What I wanted to say was you don't have to be girly if you don't want to. It's you who defines what female is.”
    “... Okay…”

    He looked down at his mug and decided to ask: “So… you are bi?”
    “Nuh uh, I'm gay.”, Alex puzzlement must have shown, because she began to giggle: “My relationships are with women. But I know why you are confused. Look, it's a bite like ice cream…”
    “Ice cream…”
    “Yeah! I love chocolate ice cream. But on some days I crave for vanilla, you know.”
    “I see”. His smile widened: “So I was your Vanilla ice then?”
    “Yes, but there was also a different reason. I saw you were a sleeping demon. I wanted to wake you up and introduce you to your other side. I never imagined it would end like this.”
    Alex told her she already apologized. She smiled a little and looked away. The room went quiet.

    Nina took a breath and said: “Speaking demons, my usual demon introduction is seriously overdue. What do you know about them?”
    Remembering the doctor’s speech he replied: “They are rare. Most don't know demons exist, and the others don't like them… who are the others?”
    She smirked. “We look like the devil in the flesh. Make a guess. Also you forgot the most important thing: Never. Tell. Anybody. This is serious, you could get yourself killed. The less people know, the saver we are.”
    He nodded. Are there ‘demon hunters’ running around? It sounds silly.
    Nina clapped in her hands and smiled again: “That was lesson one, a bit of a downer. Lesson two is more fun. Could you close the blinds, please?”
    Weird. He stood up, carefully stepped over a few boxes and reached the far side of the living room with its large windows. Closing the blinds, he turned around and saw Nina shimmying out of her tight jeans. Sweater and camisole top were already off. She waved him over, unhooked her black bra and slipped out of the matching thong. Alex almost successfully kept his gaze at her face. She stood in front of his nose, wearing only her silver necklace and a smile.

    “This…”, she theatrically raised her hand and pointed at the necklace between her rounded breasts. “This is an important accessory for every demon.”
    “Uuhu…”, croaked Alex. He couldn't help but look at where her finger was pointing. She was playing with him!
    “It can be difficult to not reveal your true self when you are aroused, or having sex. A little silver helps you with that issue.” Equally theatrical, she unclipped her necklace, dropped it on the table and closed her eyes. Her face blushed, but didn't stop until it was a deep, fiery red.Two horns peeked out of her hairline. His gaze dropped to the flaccid penis located on her mons, the tip was a deep purple in color, just like her striking nipples.

    Her green eyes almost glowing. The demoness swung her spaded tail into her hands. “This demonstration is usually not that one-sided. Nevertheless, this is my true form, as you might remember.”, she twirled around faced him again with a grin. “Usually your true form has two to three extra ‘things’, like tail, horn and dick in my case. You will be different, of course. What I really wanted to show you is what we can do with it.” She closed her eyes again. Her horns grew longer, thicker, and bended alongside her head. When the demoness opened her eyes again, she had crowned herself with mini ibex horns. “See? It's cool, isn't it?”
    Why wasn't he more surprised? “Can you grow other things too?”
    A wicked grin formed on Nina’s face: “Certainly”. Alex’ eyes dropped back down to her mons, her red penis grew longer and longer, gaining at least an inch while the purple head fattened. Now it was certainly bigger than his. He snapped out of it as Nina continued: “Your extra bits are easy to mold.” To emphasise her point, he saw her penis growing bulbs like a dildo. “You can change the rest of your body too, but it takes more effort. It's doable, I’ve seen a demon change to an incubus, but that's the exception. You can’t imagine my surprise when I saw her true form.”
    He looked at the substantial organ between her legs. “Yeah, I can't…”
    “Anyways, you can also use your magic to change your human form, but that's really tough.”
    “Magic…”, repeated Alex. Somehow when a literal demon is using that word, it does seem more plausible. “OK, not only are there demons, we do have magic as well…”
    Nina giggled at him. “Sorry, I know it is hard to swallow. Yes, we demon can do a little bit of magic. But it is mostly limited to ourselves.”
    Raising an eyebrow, Alex repeated: “Mostly?”
    Her tail twitched behind her. “Mostly. You can do a few small things to other humans with some training, like getting them to sleep, or…”, she avoided his eyes: “... stop them from moving. Speaking of magic, I have something for you! Just one second.” She turned around and rummaged in her bag. Her tail was hooking left and right. She had produced two bottles out of her bag and told him to sit back down.
    He sat across the demoness. A grey and a red bottle were shown in front of him.
    “These are little magic helpers if you want to.” Nina motioned to the grey bottle: “This will help people recognise you as Alex. It may avert the more difficult questions of how you changed so quickly. I mean, you probably have difficult questions to answer, but this helps protecting your secret.”
    Alex nodded, but Nina didn't continue and waited until he took the bottle, opened it up and drank it. Iit tastes like really strong alcohol, like gin. Hopefully the alcohol isn't the magic part.
    Nina pointed with her red finger to the slightly more red bottle: “I don't know what kind of woman you want to be, but this one grows your hair out in a few days. Just… As an option…” she pushed it towards him and.
    Taking it in his hands, he told her that he didn't even know what kind of man Alexander is. Alex spent over two decades with Alexander and didn't know him, how should Alex know Alexandra?
    Nina nodded thoughtfully. The room went quiet.
    His thoughts bubbled up, running circles around his head. Like sand through his fingers, he couldn’t grab on to them.

    “When I lost myself”, began Nina, ripping him from his thoughts. “I took a step away from whoever I was. I looked at who I wanted to be. I looked at people I admired. I looked at what made them admirable, and worked on myself becoming admirable too. I guess all I am is a mixture of the people around me.”
    He looked back up. She wasn’t smiling, her eyes weren’t sparkling. She just looked back straight into his eyes.
    “All I wanted to say is, I believe losing yourself is normal. We can’t find back to who we were, but neither should we. We can become better. When we surround us with people who bring out the best in us, we may find our new self.”
    The room went quiet again.

    Alexander twisted the bottle in his hands. Was it really just that simple? Just take a leap of faith? At this point what’s the worst that could happen.

    Alexandra uncorked and emptied the bottle in one gulp. It didn’t taste that bad. At first. Oh god, it tasted as if she drank an old carpet. She coughed, and coughed harder. She leaned over the table trying to get the fuzziness out of her throat. After a few seconds, she half expected a hairball lying on her table. Looking back up and she saw the red demoness giggling. “Nina… next time you give me a warning!”, but her friend just giggled some more.
    “I’m sorry Alex, nobody drinks this stuff if you tell them”, she said and barely kept herself on her chair.
    Walking to the faucet she washed the last fuzzy remnants out of her mouth. “You are horrible.”, wheezed Alex, but could not keep a straight face.
    “Aww don’t be like that, I didn’t want to laugh at you!”
    “But you did.”
    “It was funny!”
    “Fair enough.” she joined Nina with her laughter.
    Nina’s giggle died down, the sparkling in her eyes did not. She sat back up straight and asked: “Why did you suddenly drink it anyways?”
    “I decided.”
    “Decided what?”
    “I dunno. I guess I want to find out what Alexandra likes. If I don’t like the hair, I can always cut it back.”
    The naked demon bit her lips and thought about something. Then she said: “I have an idea. Are you ready to make space for Alexandra?”
    “Sure”