“What you gotta do is, go in the back with me, get on your knees and then choke on my fat, footlong dick.
Hyphen between foot and long.
It's possible to get to her to the “But you're messing me around, aren't you, sucker? The boss of this whole damn company doesn't go into random space station restrooms and... c'mon.” conversation without going into the restroom by using Masc Off. Put "But you're messing me around, aren't you, sucker? The boss of this whole damn company doesn't take random genemods in dive joints and... c'mon." for that.
You go back to the auto-cab rack, Suze flashes her employee card over a scanner, and you're noiselessly conveyed back across to the starport. You wedge yourself into a booth at Kally's, and soon one of her scantily clad, indentured staff is across to take your order.
This text is shown when the PC selects Meal and is already at Kally's at the start of the date. Should be cut, next paragraph works fine without it.
“That's cool girl. I'd like to see your routines.” Suze's hand drifts down her formidably toned arm as she looks you over with a scrupulous eye. “I think maybe you don't take it quite as seriously as me though, do you?” A condescending grin. “Which is more than fine by me, by the way. I want my suckers to have some cake on 'em.
“If you want, we can work out together some time.” She shrugs with majestic indifference. “I know this station doesn't have good facilities, so I got some stuff back at my apartment. You only got to ask.”
Missing quotation marks after 'cake on 'em.'
You give her your neediest, puppy dog expression, shaking your mammaries just a little bit. Suze snort-laughs in an anguished sort of way, torn between the door and you.
Nice PC's way of getting some before she leaves at date end: There's a bit of text missing here, between 'little bit.' and 'Suze snort-laughs': should be 'You know, you don't get to see her all week… a [pc.boy] can get awful lonely.'
Bug: After turning down Masc Off once, then taking it when offered, when you come back for the second date Suze will act as if you aren't dating.
“Hey s- Niko.” Suze gives you that regretful little smile as you slide into the booth opposite her. “Come to find out if starvation's changed my inclinations? Sorry. I'm still the same picky ho.” You sit there and consider each other in silence for a time. “You wanna pick things back up?” She sounds hopeful. Hopeful enough that she's already taken the Masc Off epipen out of her bag. “You know what you gotta do.”
She should lead with
"Hey yoouuu."
Suze rises from her seat when you approach her... (regular intro carries on from here)
followed by
"First thing's first."
Suze shoots a wolfish smile at you as she digs around in her purse. A bulky dose of Masc Off slides to a halt on the formica in front of you... (repeat Masc Off intro carries on from here)
The first Fitness intro scene (where you're introduced to Motiv 8) didn't fire for me. Went straight to the repeat variant.
“Ready to cool down?” There's a small whirr somewhere behind you. “Ah! Detecting custom two person cooldown! Right-e-ritey, Shutupdrone, I will quietly monitor until you complete.
Orgasm tightens your tired muscles, making you wail and buck beneath the powerhouse fucking you; her response is to tighten her grip around your neck, pinching off your air supply between her bicep and forearm. Stuck, mind-wiping joy fills you, trapped by your top in a prison of brisk, feminine muscle. You take a whooping, groaning breath as her arm relaxes around your throat a few seconds later.
Missing quotation mark after 'complete.'
“That's enough,” Suzeraigne says.
“Would you like me to upload my recording of your workout to your device, Shutupdrone?”
“Uh yes. I'll uh, monitor that later,” the human replies, wiping sweat off her brow.
“Good good!”
There's a missing italics tag in here somewhere.
You rearrange yourself contentedly in the warmth of Suze's embrace and continue watching. Even wearing your ,
The show gets more and more frantic as the window to impress The Cowl narrows.
Watching TV without blowing her without sex gifts. Dunno what happened here.
I'll keep going over it tonight or tomorrow. Thanks!