Typos from multiple scenes.
NPC Penny
Scene: Over the Desk
Particularly since each of your serpentine dicks is twitchingly, aching erect and ready to go, sapping your will with potent physical need in a way that must mirror what Penny is experiencing.
Note: PC has 2 Penises
Problem 1: "is" needs to be an "are" due to the plural it is following.
Problem 2: "twitchingly, aching erect" while typographically correct, the sentence may flow better if it were reworded to "achingly erect, twitching and ready to go" OR twitchingly erect, aching and ready to go"
--------------
NPC: Synohia
...looks proud, not just of her accomplishments but also that she's getting to relay them to her megacorp's heir apparent.
Problem: i think "apparent" is supposed to be "apparently".
-------------
NPC: Synohia
I could do more with if it, if I were the nefarious type, but I'd have to be an idiot to get caught dabbling in mind control when I've got a gig this sweet."
Problem: can drop the unnecessary "if".
------------
NPC Penny
Scene: Over the Desk
Particularly since each of your serpentine dicks is twitchingly, aching erect and ready to go, sapping your will with potent physical need in a way that must mirror what Penny is experiencing.
Note: PC has 2 Penises
Problem 1: "is" needs to be an "are" due to the plural it is following.
Problem 2: "twitchingly, aching erect" while typographically correct, the sentence may flow better if it were reworded to "achingly erect, twitching and ready to go" OR twitchingly erect, aching and ready to go"
--------------
NPC: Synohia
...looks proud, not just of her accomplishments but also that she's getting to relay them to her megacorp's heir apparent.
Problem: i think "apparent" is supposed to be "apparently".
-------------
NPC: Synohia
I could do more with if it, if I were the nefarious type, but I'd have to be an idiot to get caught dabbling in mind control when I've got a gig this sweet."
Problem: can drop the unnecessary "if".
------------
