[0.8.7] and [0.8.10] Spelling and Grammar errors

[Sontalak]

Just collecting some assorted spelling and grammar errors. Each post in this thread will be a different scene for simplicity. These were collected in both the prior Steam version and the current Steam version.

A few constants for these (where relevant)
NOT Silly Mode
Herm Champion
White Mage
20 Inch Cock
H-Cup
5' 11"

[0.8.7] First, the message when approaching the campsite for the first time behind Sigrune. This should probably read "you should have doubled back on yourself".

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7]

Next up 2 during the Convocation of Mirrors debate

Start of Phase 3. This should probably read "With you having come this far" ("Thus far" would just mean "up to this point in time" but doesn't actually denote progress. "The history of the world thus far". This line is describing progress through the social sparring match)

and late in Phase 3 (Nareva's traitor rant clue). This should probably read "I have so much more in common with you mortals than I could ever imagine"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Hornet Victory -> Nurse

There are 3 here

The first should probably read "no wonder this airheaded slut is leaking all the time"

The second should probably read "Unable to affect any kind of meaningful release" (Affects are verbs and cause effects which are nouns. This particular fragment mentions the inability to take an action)

The third should read "each bloated jug"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Atugia Romance Start Nighttime Visit, if you have Multi-Cock

Should be "hand" here.

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Gym -> Atugia -> Spot -> Eat

Should just be 1 a

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Nareva dream visit post Convocation -> Sex the Mander twins

Should be "revealing a clean blue slit"

and the second is during the twin buttjob

Ria only has 1 tail (this is describing how your cum is seeping out from between the coils of her tail. Maybe rephrase to "Ria's coiled tail" for the highlighted portion?

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Cait -> Nursing Handjob

Sentence missing an article (tear-drop shaped breast/tit/jug)

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.7] Cleansing Eryka Dirty Dream

First screenshot here is just plain repetative writing. "the pleasure is pleasurable" and "with so much man-meat with which to generate it with"? For the first portion, consider a synonym for pleasurable (I'm partial to "gratifying"); you wouldn't write a torture scene with "the pain is painful", you'd say it's "agonizing" or "unendurable", same principle. For the second, cut the final "with", and consider rephrasing to something like "When you have so much man-mean with which to generate it", or similar.

Second "cannon" (also, do the characters in universe have the frame of reference for "tank cannon"? This feels like a jarringly out of context thought for a character in a world that appears to mostly lack gunpowder to have. Might be more appropriate to Silly Mode?)

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] (woo!) Harboring a Fugitive -> Bound Mare Sex

"Gods", no apostrophe. This isn't a possessive or a contraction, it's a plural.

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Kiyoko's Jealousy Dream

First: fragment missing article: "you wasting it on"

Second: "hasn't made her any less horny"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Kiyoko giving birth, choose to stay with her.

Should be "don't think I'll ever understand"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Dog Days, Parley Confrontation. Sympathize.

Should probably be "she's got other fellow druids"

Edit: Technically "she's other fellow druids" could be correct here as a contraction of "she has", but I feel like most people would read this as a possessive rather than a contraction. In fact I had to read it multiple times just now to even parse this as a contraction. My suggestion interprets it as a possessive instead. (so this one's up in the air if it's a mistake or not. I find the current phrasing a awkward though)

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Dag Days, Peaceful Resolution, Hethia's proposition

should be "a chill" ("an" is only appropriate if the next word starts with a vowel)

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Manticore Girl -> Victory -> VenomRut

This isn't a contraction, no apostrophe. "with its arousing"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] Astral Plane -> Kinu -> Play -> With Mommy -> Otedama Scene

should be "thumb-length beanbags"

 

[Sontalak]

[0.8.10] And I'm not sure if this one's appropriate here (it's neither spelling, nor grammar) but one character has an inconsistant description.

Phyria's nipples are described at the start of the Convocation of Mirrors as "cobalt".

Every other scene (and Phyria's artwork) describes her nipples as "pink"