[0.6.35] Sandra & Caera typos

[Ace Hangman]

Yeah, yeah. I misspelled 'Sandre' in the title. I can't change it now and I don't want to repost this.

Talk > Cock Removal > Lose Pathetically

First, is it intended for you to cum your soul out at any level of corruption. I literally had 1 Corruption. Anyway:

1. Remove the extra space.


2. Should be 'now' instead of 'not'.


Talk > Cock Removal > Subdue Caera > Do your best

3. Should probably be 'breasts'. It's possible that the intention is that you have her angled so only one boob presses into your chest, but I don't see any indication or reason it would be only one of them, rather than a full frontal hug.


4. 'Thrust after thrust'


5. 'you are,' instead of 'you're'. 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are', but it doesn't read correctly in this particular sentence.


6. 'her' cunt.


7. mattress' with an s' apostrophe.


8. 'because of her'


9. 'Heaven's' instead of 'heaves' (capitalized, but I don't think that's super important.)



10. This should probably be a [pc.cumColor] parser, since this particular Champ ejaculates honey. I assume this is just written as white.

 

[Ace Hangman]

cont.

11. Is this just written as ivory, or is it a [pc.cumColor] parser. I am certain this Champ ejaculates amber honey.


Talk > Cock Removal > subdue Sandre > Do your best

Before anything else, I don't see in this scene where Sandre actually cums. Since this is a challenge to see who cums first (and it reads like the Champ is the victor), there should probably be a more definitive statement of her reaching orgasm. I see a lot of parts where it mentions her moaning, or her eyes rolling back (you can't see them in her position), or her clenching, but nothing about her actually having an orgasm before you do. Since that seems to be an integral part of the scene and challenge (and she's supposedly very competitive, despite this specific scene making her submissive from the get go), I think maybe there needs to be even a sentence or two where she's moaning and clenching and then her cock just erupting with demon spunk or her pussy shuddering with a shower of her fem-juice just to make it very clear that the Champ won. That's just my thoughts there. On with the actual typos.

12. Should probably be a [pc.cumColor] parser here, since this Champ's cum is amber honey.



Appearance > Caera

13. Should probably be 'areola' instead of 'aureole'.
Areola is the pigmented skin around a mammal's nipples. an Aureole is the halo or oval used to depict an aura or halo, typically for a divine being, in a picture or depiction.


Dom Sex > Fuck Caera

14. Caera is the blue demon, but in the current scene, she's disguised. I am sure there's a parser to check for them being in disguise. In this case, I think it could be 'disguised' or 'white-haired' or some other adjective other than 'blue' for when you have her in human (with tail) guise.


15. Should be 'tug upon it' or just 'tug it'.


16. 'your' instead of 'yout'.
Should also probably be 'filled' with your meat instead of full.
"What is a 'yout'?" –My Cousin Vinny.


17. 'kneeling'



18. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here for Champs that don't shoot ivory.



19. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Dom Sex > Fuck Sandre

20. Should be 'back of the knee'


21. This is correct in that Sandre is the red demon of the pair, but in this scene she is in her human disguise. I think there should be a parser that checks if she's in disguise and substitutes a different adjective; 'disguised', 'tanned', 'black-haired','amazonian'. Or just a different one that applies in either case; 'black-haired', 'amazonian', 'muscled', etc.


22. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here instead.



23. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here instead.



24. 'faint' instead of 'feint'.



Dom Sex > Fuck Both (this seems to be a mirror of the Gamble > Do Your Best (victory) > Fuck Both option)

25. I think the more common phrase, in American English is 'on all fours', but if 'on your four' is something others use, I will accede.


26. This should probably be 'on all fours' but could also be 'her hands and knees', assuming you others don't think 'on her four' is a common phrase.


27. Caera is the blue demon, but there should be a parser to check if they're in disguise, and make this adjective something else, like 'disguised' or change this to an adjective that works either way, 'white-haired', 'expressionless', 'stoic', 'slender', 'black-tailed', etc.



28. Sandre is disguised in this scene, there should be a parser that checks and changes this to something like 'tanned' or 'muscled' or 'amazonian' or 'black-haired' or an adjective that works in either case, like 'muscled', 'amazonian', or 'black-haired'.



29. 'poking' instead of 'pocking'.

 

[Ace Hangman]

cont.

30. Should be 'you are'.



31. There should be a disguise adjective here instead of 'blue'.



32. Should be 'look at how' or 'watch' instead of 'look how'.



33. Should be a disguise adjective here instead of 'red' for when she's not red.



34. Should be a disguise adjective here (or one that works for both forms) instead of 'blue'.



Fuck Both > Caera (cum inside Caera instead of Sandre)

35. 'Sandre'



36. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here for Champs with different color semen.



37. Should be a [pc.cumColor] parser here instead.



38. Should probably be 'teeth' if she's in disguise.

 

[Ace Hangman]

Dom Sex > Subdue Caera

39. Should be 'respite' instead of 'reprise' (I think this is also in the Cock Removal sex scene, this might be the same scene with parsers for all I know).



40. Should be a disguise parser here to change this adjective while she's in disguise (this is likely in the Cock Removal sex scene as well).



Dom Sex > Subdue Sandre
(This is mostly a mirror of the Cock Removal sex scene, so any typos here are probably there, or maybe this is all the same scene with parsers to account for it).

41. Should be a disguise parser here for when she's not red.

 

[teawolf]

Still need:
- Disguise parsers

Otherwise, should be sorted, thanks!