[0.4.5] Forest Kitsune typos and wording issues

Burnerbro

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Oct 24, 2020
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There is little arousal — or at least, on the part of the kitsune.
nix 'or' and the comma for better flow
Warm and fluffy even in its slightly bedraggled state, it only leads one to wonder just what it might feel like if it were cleaned up... as things stand, it's one of the best, if not the best sensations you've ever had the pleasure of coming across.
'sensations' -> 'sensation' OR 'one' -> 'some'

It's not so much passionate as it is comforting, which is why it comes as a bit of a shock when you feel soft fur teasing at your nethers, tickling the tip of your rapidly stiffening member andbrushing languidly across the petals of your womanly flower.
missing space

Bound within a writhing mass of fluffy tails and stroked to near-climax, it's hard to even conceive of even thinking of disobeying; anything to keep this marvel going for as long as you can.
nix the second 'even'

But at length, even Kiri pulls away, looking ashamed and disgusted with herself, glancing at you out the corner of her eye.
While technically correct, that particular turn of phrase doesn't parse very easily and interrupts the flow of the scene quite a bit. Might be just me, though. Observer seems to use it a lot in at least some of the scenes he writes.

Unlike his subordinates, Hinata doesn't get close, let alone lay hands on you. Instead, the black-furred kitsune closes his eyes and basks in the sheer throes of your orgasm, simply allowing the natural explosion of desire and energy to wash over him.
meanwhile, just a bit earlier in the scene
"Enough, you two." A sigh. Strong hands palm your cheeks, and then Hinata's eyes are boring into your own, big black voids that seem to suck out not only your life-force, but your soul itself.

Within the blink of an eye, all three of them are gone, leaving behind only a sensation of utter enervation that hangs about in your entire being.
'within' -> 'in'
 
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