A few typos when pc meets Mallach after building the temple.
These are from, "ride him," scene.
Needs a space there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a semi-colon is better for the pause there instead of a comma since "Now, there," is an independent clause. I'm quite sure you can use more than 2 semi-colons in a single sentence. Also, I forgot to highlight the word, but "any more," should be, "anymore," since it's referring to time rather than the number of pillows or something.
Extra space there.
These are from after PC does or does not take a drink when invited to Mallach's world (or dreamscape? idk what to exactly call it).
Need a quote there.
Need a quote there.
Need quote there.
This is from the scene after PC fucked Mallach.
Needs a quote there.
These are from, "ride him," scene.
Needs a space there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a semi-colon is better for the pause there instead of a comma since "Now, there," is an independent clause. I'm quite sure you can use more than 2 semi-colons in a single sentence. Also, I forgot to highlight the word, but "any more," should be, "anymore," since it's referring to time rather than the number of pillows or something.
Extra space there.
These are from after PC does or does not take a drink when invited to Mallach's world (or dreamscape? idk what to exactly call it).
Need a quote there.
Need a quote there.
Need quote there.
This is from the scene after PC fucked Mallach.
Needs a quote there.