1.
'their' -> 'his'
2.
By the scene's logic, it's Sugo's seed, not the Champ's
3.
'their' -> 'his'
4.
'holes gape' -> 'hole gapes', since in the scene doesn't mention the Champ's ass getting penetrated.
5.
Unnecessary comma after 'long'
Noticeable instance of tautology. I'd suggest changing it to "baby-making/breeding session"
Missing Comma before 'so'
"Jealous yet?"
Sugo question, running their hands up and through their hair.
2.
The hot rod pulls out of you and excessive amounts of your seed flows freely.
3.
Sugo rolls his eyes, pushing Ivris down with their hoof as her bulging stomach pushes against you.
4.
Your holes gape wider and the cock grows, destroying your tightness in an effort to turn your pussy into an unsalvageable fuckhole.
5.
It's going to be one long, baby-making breeding so you might as well rest your eyes for a while...
Noticeable instance of tautology. I'd suggest changing it to "baby-making/breeding session"
Missing Comma before 'so'
