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Corruption of Champions II
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[0.3.31] More text errors/suggestions
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<blockquote data-quote="CrackSpaniel" data-source="post: 347405" data-attributes="member: 37273"><p>(Takahiro)</p><p>pushes the straw up, carefully biting the straw.</p><p>up ,carefully biting the straw -> up and he carefully bites it</p><p></p><p>The cork doesn't come out, yet raises enough that it allows him to sip a mouthful of booze; once he removes it, you spot the small</p><p>yet raises -> yet it raises</p><p>booze; once he removes it, -> booze. Once he's finished,</p><p>~I don't really understand the relationship between the cork and straw here, either.</p><p></p><p>Back then, my travels took me pretty south;</p><p>pretty south -> pretty far south</p><p></p><p>But I gave the notes to Komari that I found with that king</p><p>to Komari that I found with that king -> I found with the king to Komari</p><p></p><p></p><p>"Well, whatever. I guess you'll come this way again if you need something.</p><p>~No italics</p><p></p><p>See you later,[flags.TAKA_OPINION -10 -5|manuke|[pc.name]]</p><p>~Missing a space after the comma</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrackSpaniel, post: 347405, member: 37273"] (Takahiro) pushes the straw up, carefully biting the straw. up ,carefully biting the straw -> up and he carefully bites it The cork doesn't come out, yet raises enough that it allows him to sip a mouthful of booze; once he removes it, you spot the small yet raises -> yet it raises booze; once he removes it, -> booze. Once he's finished, ~I don't really understand the relationship between the cork and straw here, either. Back then, my travels took me pretty south; pretty south -> pretty far south But I gave the notes to Komari that I found with that king to Komari that I found with that king -> I found with the king to Komari "Well, whatever. I guess you'll come this way again if you need something. ~No italics See you later,[flags.TAKA_OPINION -10 -5|manuke|[pc.name]] ~Missing a space after the comma [/QUOTE]
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