Dark Recruitment V0.22

[Deva]

Hello, I'm here to annoy you with -another- of my naughty games.. I'm sure theres worse things, right?

Link to the game: Up to date on this blog.: http://pervyfantasyproductions.blogspot.com/

Game engine: Twine (HTML, aka you just need Firefox or IE to run it. Twine struggles a bit with Chrome.)

Setting: Dark Fantasy CYOA

Nutshell synposis: A harmless little town is invaded by the corruptive forces of a dark queen, seeking to enslave and 'Recruit' them, as the protagonist avoids dire fate after dire fate attempting to fight them off.

Adult themes: F/F, F/M, F/S, Corruption, transformation, mind control, Female and Shemale dominant, Female submissive, focus on mind controley themes, hints of bestiality.

Scope: Depends on if you are a fast reader! No seriously, I wouldn't say it takes hours to play through current content, but if you want to go through all the endings..

Oh and, yes, we do have a patreon, Click here to make a donation. but unless you want to you wont have to give a dime, for the full game content, and that wont change. I'm happy enough if you enjoy the game, maybe drop a positive comment, etc.

Latest version of the game: http://pervyfantasyproductions.blogspot.de/2015/10/dark-recruitment-update-v022.html

If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to post below, I check on all comments semi-regularly.

~Deva~

 

[Jash]

Lotta typos and shoddy grammar. Some serious run-on sentences as well, big blocks of text that run for multiple lines without a single full stop. Also, the constant usage of casual speech elements in 2nd person narration is jarring (e.g verbal backspacing and self-corrections, ums and uhs, ellipses etc), these work better in 1st person narration. Needs an editor.

The story is a little on the silly side, the minions of the Dark Queen roll into town and proclaim "Hi, we're the Evil McEvilsons, but we're going to talk to you reasonably so you can't just form a huge mob and lynch us all, even though we're going to turn you all into mindless sex slaves". It's also rather hard to get through- I went through about half a dozen playthroughs using trial and error but never managed to get anything even PASSABLY approaching a good ending and basically felt like nothing I ever did ever made any difference (presumably there's exactly one route that has top be precisely followed to the "good ending").

Not bad, just needs a fair bit of polish.

 

[DeeAbel]

I like it. the story is no more silly than any other sex themed game out there and i personally am not that bothered by incorrect grammar so i give it a solid thumbs up.

 

[Deva]

Lotta typos and shoddy grammar. Some serious run-on sentences as well, big blocks of text that run for multiple lines without a single full stop. Also, the constant usage of casual speech elements in 2nd person narration is jarring (e.g verbal backspacing and self-corrections, ums and uhs, ellipses etc), these work better in 1st person narration. Needs an editor.


The story is a little on the silly side, the minions of the Dark Queen roll into town and proclaim "Hi, we're the Evil McEvilsons, but we're going to talk to you reasonably so you can't just form a huge mob and lynch us all, even though we're going to turn you all into mindless sex slaves". It's also rather hard to get through- I went through about half a dozen playthroughs using trial and error but never managed to get anything even PASSABLY approaching a good ending and basically felt like nothing I ever did ever made any difference (presumably there's exactly one route that has top be precisely followed to the "good ending").


Not bad, just needs a fair bit of polish.

*chuckles*  Rather crushing for not bad. You wound my heart. I do try to polish it up, slowly, but also want to note that most of your points is focusing against a personal style I use, that you dislike, and others may find endearing, to each their own, I guess. Of course all up to you, but you could always offer your assistance as editor, or write a naughty game of your own with immaculate sentence structure.

I like it. the story is no more silly than any other sex themed game out there and i personally am not that bothered by incorrect grammar so i give it a solid thumbs up.

See, thats a lot more encouraging.   The reason I keep it light hearted is because it deals with rather dark sexual topics, but I don't want to get.. too extreme there.


On another note, I realize that I have a lot of hammering to do on some of the writing bits, though often when I asked for corrections they turned out to be not all correct, or american vs brittain grammar limitations. If someone can catch me a dedicated spellchecker Twine is actually really easy to go/work through.


All that said, it is a fun side project for me, not something I dump hours over hours in.. for now, maybe if lotsa people grow interested.. ^^

 

[Alexai]

*chuckles* Rather crushing for not bad. You wound my heart. I do try to polish it up, slowly, but also want to note that most of your points is focusing against a personal style I use, that you dislike, and others may find endearing, to each their own, I guess. Of course all up to you, but you could always offer your assistance as editor, or write a naughty game of your own with immaculate sentence structure.



See, thats a lot more encouraging. The reason I keep it light hearted is because it deals with rather dark sexual topics, but I don't want to get.. too extreme there.


On another note, I realize that I have a lot of hammering to do on some of the writing bits, though often when I asked for corrections they turned out to be not all correct, or american vs brittain grammar limitations. If someone can catch me a dedicated spellchecker Twine is actually really easy to go/work through.


All that said, it is a fun side project for me, not something I dump hours over hours in.. for now, maybe if lotsa people grow interested.. ^^

It's fun, in a weird sense. Minus the occasional typo issues, it is a fun game but it seems rather difficult to find the right pattern to actually proceed. There seems to be a enormous amount of bad ends right off the bat. Maybe more paths to allow continuation with circumstances and limitations for (bad?) choices would make it more playable?

 

[Deva]

It would make it less playable, as programming it would get exponentially harder reducing actual content and substance of the story.

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

It would make it less playable, as programming it would get exponentially harder reducing actual content and substance of the story.

Basically you're using the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid

 

[Deva]

Basically you're using the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid

Quality over quantity, more like it.