Suggested edits:
But I guess my pussy really is irresistible, isn’t it? Once you’ve tasted it, you can’t really think about anything else but nutting inside. I bet you’d enjoy that, right? The inside is just </i>so<i> warm and wet, so utterly and completely cum-hungry. You’ve just got to give it what it wants!
Flow was kinda weird, using "really" twice and fusing a statement and a question together.
There’s not much point in arguing with her.
Nothing seriously wrong with this sentence, but it might sound better reworded. Maybe "There isn’t any point in arguing with her.", or "There’s no point in arguing with her.", or simply "Not much point in arguing with her..."
UGC peacekeepers could{ break down your cabin door/ catch you in the act right now}, and you wouldn’t care. They’d have to pry the lewdly slurping sex-toy out of your hands with a crowbar.
What if they catch you outside your ship,
hmmm? Also, "UGC peacekeepers" vs "U.G.C. Peacekeepers" may be a stylization thing with proper names that varies based on context, but I've noticed this inconsistency throughout the game, especially with respect to "U.G.C." and other acronyms--not a big deal though!
Tamani visibly shudders, sending her breasts bouncing, slapping and jostling for far longer than you’d expect.
Adverbs!
“Good job, {stud/slut}. You be sure and get some Spunkbuster supplements from your local TamaniCorp store, okay? I want you to take good care of my hungry little clone-cunt and bathe it in cum daily, alright?”
Highlighted section can be reworded to "Be sure to get some".
Buy all the Spunkbuster supplements.
Hope this helps!
